Fan of the Month!

Ah, November!  For fall lovers like me, it can be an underrated month.  Most of the football season has passed; most of the leaves have changed; most of the novelty of crisp, autumnal weather has worn off; most of the new music of the season has already come out.  Heck, as great as Thanksgiving is, it doesn't even headline the holiday season.  If you don't catch yourself, you'll underrate November.  And that would be a grave mistake.

November 1 marks the beginning of a new season.  A sub-season.  A section of fall from November 1-January 1 where the most babies are made (it's true, look it up), the most couples get together, the most holiday cheer is spread, the most rom-coms are viewed on oversized couches, and (in short) the whole world becomes Snuggly.

Last November's FOM dubbed this season the "Snuggle Belt."

Obviously, this November's FOM had to typify all the month has to offer.  He had to be the very quintessence of snug.  He (clearly) had to love Tom Selleck.

I'm proud to introduce November's Fan of the Month, Whitney in Fort Payne, AL!

Name?
Whitney Chapman (Mr.)

Age?  
42.

Where y'at?  
Fort Payne, AL.

Something the average interweb browser wouldn't know about me is…?
Back-hair aplenty.  Sorry ladies, I’m taken.

The music scene in Ft. Payne is...?
Estoy rodeado de musica latina.

(Editor's Note: No chance Chris knows what that means--he's still working on English.  Watch him ask "for the readers" now...)

Care to translate for the readers who aren't bilingual?
The Hispanic population in Fort Payne grows daily. As you drive through town just about all you hear is Latin music booming from speakers worth more than the cars they are in.

Whatcha do for a living?
Associate Director at Camp Laney for Boys in Mentone, AL.

When was the last time you ate at Burger King?
Friday, October 22, 2010 8:35AM ($2.16).

Wow!  Tell me you keep a Burger King journal the way some folks keep dream journals.
If you consider greasy receipts between the cushions of my Honda Accord a journal, then yes.

You have one meal left in life but it has to be fast food.  You can pick and choose different items from different joints.  Name that meal! 
McDonald’s Fries, Rob’s Hot Dog Cart – Slaw Dog EXTRA mustard, Diet Dr. Pepper.

(Editor's Note: I love that all of these items have been given the proper level of capitalization/reverence.)

What is Rob's Hot Dog Cart?  Other than my next band name?
It's actually Lil Rob's Hot Dog Cart and it's located across from the Fort Payne Park.  He is usually there from about 10:30-2:00 most days.  Various combos of condiments are available.  He's a super nice guy and I like supporting him.

You have one meal left in life, period.  Name that meal!
Chicago’s Pizzeria Uno Deep Dish w/ spinach, pepperoni, sausage, onion, and extra cheese.

(Editor's Note: I don't know why, but this FOM is making me way hungrier than all the others.  Is Camp Laney secretly a four-star restaurant?)

What music publications/blogs/sites do you read? Any of them good?
Not counting www.chrismilam.com, zero.  Sorry, just being honest.

Pick your dream concert. Any three (living) artists, anywhere, any venue, any month, any time of day. What is it? What's it called?
Dwight Yoakam, Foo Fighters, Journey (with Steve Perry).  Closing night fourth session campfire at Camp Laney.  It would be called LANEYFESTAROO.

(Editor's Note: There's such a thing as Journey WITHOUT Steve Perry???  That's like saying SEC without Alabama, or "bitchin" without Chuck Norris.  You just blew my mind.)

I feel Laneyfestaroo's poster would have to feature a kangaroo.  Ridden by Dwight Yoakam.  With Steve Perry stowed-away in the pouch.  And Dave Grohl hugging a koala.  I guess what I'm asking is, how many kangaroos are at Camp Laney, and how well-trained are they?
There is only one kangaroo at camp, it does as it pleases, and you don't want to know what's in his pouch (I think you know this kangaroo).

You can pick one album as your morning alarm for a year.  The songs and their “wake-up” segments will shuffle randomly, but you are stuck with this album for a full year.  What is it?
Foo Fighters, One By One.

(Editor's Note: This FOM really likes his Foo, which is always a good sign.  Foo fans are like Canadians: unpretentious, affable, and probably on horseback.  Wait...)

If you could fight any public figure, who would it be and why?
Actor Verne Troyer.  I am a tad out of shape, so my first fight needs to be a sure thing.

Fill in the blanks!

Five favorite artists from the 60's are…?
Al Green, Johhny Cash, Mike Nesmith, Jimmy Page, Roger Daltrey.

Five favorite artists from the 90's are…?
Michael Jackson, Dwight Yoakam, Van Hagar, Peter Gabriel, Prince.

Five favorite artists from the 2000's are…?
Coldplay, Foo Fighters.  That’s about it.  Musically speaking, I pretty much live in the past.

Some more singer/songwriters I love are… ?
Hal Ketchum, Billy Joe Shaver.

(Editor's Note: I wish my name was Hal Ketchum.  From birth, that guy was destined to be a grizzled, wisened troubadour and semi-pro bass fisherman.)  

....is my favorite Beatle.  
Paul McCartney, only because of the "Ebony and Ivory" duet with Stevie Wonder.

...is my favorite adjective in the English language.
Sweet.

Know any adjectives from other languages?
Peligroso and grande.

(Editor's Note: "dangerous" and "large," respectively.  Thanks, tequila and Starbucks!)

...is my favorite month of the year.
October.

Favorite wrongly-heard song lyric is...? (e.g. "Excuse me while I kiss this guy...")
I’ll never leave your pizza burnin'.

(Editor's Note: The original lyric, from Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden," is "I'll never be your beast of burden."  And now I'm hungry again!)

Favorite rock album of the 2000's?
Foo Fighters One by One.

Favorite non-rock album of the 2000's?
Dwight Yoakam, The Very Best of Dwight Yoakam.

Favorite movie (you can pick separate ones for comedy and drama)?
Comedy: Midnight Run.
Drama: Quiz Show.

I can't believe you picked Quiz Show!  That's always been a favorite of mine and none of my friends have ever even seen it.  They're all, "what's a Rob Morrow/let's make up prop bets for Dancing With the Stars/pass the Easy Cheese, etc."  ANYWAY, here's my question: Quiz Show was well-received at the time (tons of great reviews/award nominations and some wins/decent box office/etc.).  But when people list the best flicks of the 90's, it's usually forgotten.  Why has this movie aged badly in the public consciousness?  In terms of what the movie's about, it's only gotten more relevant over time?  What gives?  
I think if Herb Stempel had killed Charles Van Doren and then morphed into a Camaro driven by Megan Fox as it escaped, it might have had some staying power on DVD and iTunes.  I joke because I can't answer your question.  I don't know why more people are not familiar with it.  Damn shame.

Favorite TV show (you can pick separate ones for comedy and drama)?
Comedy: Arrested Development.
Scifidramady: Firefly.

Rank these items in order of awesomeness: Keith Richards, fall foliage, the state of Hawaii , Wing Stop, the right to bear arms, the right to arm bears, cinnamon.
1) Hawaii
2) Wing Stop
3) Fall foliage
4) The right to bear arms
5) The right to arm bears
6) Cinnamon
7) Keith Richards (sorry K.R. fans)

I ranked all twelve months a while back.  Where would November be in your rankings (1 being best)?
3.

What's #12?
May.

Rad--I think that's the first May-as-#12 I've gotten.  What's lame about May? You really don't like horse racing?
The greatest part of my job is the summer when I see the rewards of the hard work we put in during the offseason. May is the most stressful time of the year because so many details have to be finalized in preparation for the campers arrival. And horse racing sucks.

I did a "Monthly Playlist" throughout 2009, and have taken a brief hiatus.  I need your help.  Give me 5 "Songs for November."
1) Foo Fighters, "All My Life"
2) Johnny Cash, "Boy Named Sue"
3) Billy Joe Shaver, "I Been To Georgia On a Fast Train"
4) Dwight Yoakam, "Ain't That Lonely Yet"
5) Booker T and the MGs, "Hip Hug Her"

Okay, you clearly like your Foo.  I once posed a question to blog-readers about Nirvana and Foo Fighters.  Nirvana was transcendent but hyper ambitious and often frustrating; the Foo gives us the insanely likable pop rock we want from them every 2-3 years.  But there is no Foo (in any way we'd recognize them) without Cobain's death.  If you can go back in time, which do you take: Cobain living with the risk/reward of Nirvana being the Beatles of alt-rock over the next 20 years (or totally fizzling out and depressing teenager in America even more), or the awesomely solid (if predictable) catalog of Foo Fighters that we've loved post-Nirvana?
What is Cobain?  Is that like Advil or something?

(Editor's Note: Slam!  Powerslam!  Def poetry slam!  I've gotta stop typing now.)

You can move anywhere in America for six months.  Money, time, and job situation are no object.  Name the place.
Turtle Bay Resort, Oahu, Hawaii.

You can move anywhere on earth for six months.  Same deal.  Same place, or do you become an expat? 
Turtle Bay Resort, Oahu, Hawaii.

In Hawaii, college football kicks off at like 4AM or something.  How much of a problem would that be for you?
If it's Alabama, no problem.

Any tattoos?  If no, someone is currently forcing you to get a tattoo in a very real and dangerous way.  What do you get?
The Daredevil logo.  Huge fan of the comic book, but not the movie.  Affleck is awful.

You're the casting director: who would've made the ideal Daredevil?
It doesn't matter what the movie is.  If I'm the casting director, the answer is always Tom Selleck.

(Editor's Note: Agreed.  Nothing says "superhero"--or November--like a hearty mustache.)

November's sweeps month on television.  What's on your DVR?  What's reached " Season Pass " status?
These are my shows and my wife Rita’s, and all have season passes (mine are the masculine ones):
Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Smallville, Supernatural, That Metal Show, The Office, Vampire Diaries, Parenthood, Days of our Lives, Mad Men, and Alabama football games.

 My fantasy football team name this year is Spare Me The Stirrups.  What is yours/what would yours be?
If I had one: Bluth Frozen Bananas.

You are going out tonight. You are going out to do whatever it is you would like to do for a fun night of festivity and frivolity. This can include anything from a global Scrabble tournament to eating a tub of nougat to arming bears.  Anything goes.  You get to assemble your posse for the night. You can pick ANY FOUR MEN OR ANY FOUR WOMEN on the planet, friends, celebrities, athletes, etc. Who is in your entourage and why?
OK.  So, I go to Washington DC to an empty White House. Me and my posse check out the whole house, including secret passages and cool gadgets. We then adjourn to the White House screening room and watch “Magnum PI: The Return” (which Hollywood has decided to finally make after reading all my letters saying they should bring back Magnum PI).  My posse consists of Jonathan Hillerman, Larry Manetti, Roger E. Mosely, and Tom Selleck, who happen to be the main cast of Magnum PI and Magnum PI:The Return. We have freshly baked deep dish pizzas beamed to us right from the original Pizzeria Uno Chicago location using the beaming gadget we found in the basement.  We then end the night playing paintball throughout the whole White House versus an unarmed and arthritic Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Keith Olberman, and Auburn.

(Editor's Note: We have to retire this question now.  WOW.)

That was phenomenal.  I can't believe no past FOM has thought of paintball in the White House before.  Well done.  Where will music be in 5 years? What will be the next "big thing"? Where would you like to see it go?
In 5 years music will have left behind the John Mayers, Kanye Wests, and Lady GaGas of the world for the next big thing that will unfortunately be copies of the John Mayers, Kanye Wests, and Lady Gagas from five years ago. I am not sure where I would like music to go. I imagine it has already gone there, I just need to find it.

Finally, how can I ever thank you for the support?
$2.16 to cover my Burger King meal I had on the morning of Friday, Oct. 22, 2010.  It was awful.

Done and done--the check's in the mail. 

(Editor's Note: Wait til Monday to cash it.)

Song of the Week: Foo Fighters "Up In Arms"

What do you get when you combine the Foo Fighters, an old-school Beatles melody, multiple personality disorder, and 136 seconds of pop-rock glory?

A Song of the Week, that's what.

Song of the Week: Foo Fighters, "Up In Arms"

For such a short and simple song, it raises a lot of questions.

--Why does it begin in such a melancholy, dazed place?
--Why does Grohl sing this opening 50-seconds with an uncharacteristically "loose" delivery (i.e., lyrics enjamb into the next, lagging behind the song's pace, etc.)?
--What's with the whistling (0:51)?
--And the biggie: Why does the song stop suddenly (0:50) and transform into a fast-paced rock song? And why do the lyrics stay practically the same when this happens (wouldn't a musical change account for a lyrical change?)?

The song's about an on-again, off-again relationship that repeats its makeups and breakups in a predictable way. So, writing a song that musically repeats itself with a cold/hot duality makes sense. I get it. I'm onboard.

Still, it's an odd choice for a very-pop-rock band; we love the Foo because they consistently give us exactly what we want and expect. The song works, of course, because it still offers the other reasons we love the Foo: great production and performances, self-effacing humor (my theory for the whistling), and the sense that even their sad stories have happy endings. And, of course, the melody.

I love the song for that melody, which sounds to me like an early Beatles (or even proto-Motown) tune. Dave Grohl is simply one of our best melodists, always able to place any complex idea or unexpected weirdness in an accessible, fan-friendly package. We trust him, and keep listening, because the songs are so fun. Even when they have multiple-personality disorder.

Other artists have dabbled in "alternate takes" of the same song. That is, they put the same song on the album twice with vastly different treatments.

Some examples:
--Wilco: "Outtasite (Outta Mind)" and "Outta Mind (Outta Sight)" - Being There
--Josh Ritter: "Wait for Love" and "Wait for Love (You Know You Will)" - Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter
--And rumor has it the next Cory Branan album will have a fast and slow version of "Survivor Blues"

What are some others? Can you think of other songs with multiple personality disorder, like "Up In Arms"? Let me know!

January Mailbag

What do coffee beans, Wes Anderson, meta-blogging, scarves, and "sad bastard music" have in common? January's Mailbag!

Turns out all of you had plenty on your mind this month. So, as we reach winter's halfway point, I figured now's as good a time as ever to take some spring cleaning to Ye Ole Mailbag.

Let's get after these issues and more in the January's Mailbag.

(As always, these are questions from actual readers. If you'd like to send one in, just drop me a line! chris@chrismilam.com)

Hey Chris, you travel a bit. What are some of your favorite spots across the country? --Mark, Brooklyn
Great question. The good news is that I do get to travel to a lot of places. The bad news is that I usually don't get to spend much time in those places. So, while I'm there, I usually stay close to "home" and don't get as experimental as I'd like. If you ask me my favorite coffee houses, diners, and music venues, that's easy. If you want to know what Texas town has the rowdiest rodeo, or where to find great laser tag in the Midwest, I'm woefully unprepared.

So...

Favorite Coffee Shops/Cafes
Mudspot, New York
It's very near my place, it's cozy, the coffee's excellent, it's quiet enough during the week that you can read/work, it's loud enough (with their music playing and typical clientele) that you can socialize and not worry about people hearing your conversation. The real tipping point, however, is the music. They've seemingly hacked into my iTunes. Last time I went, I was there for 2 hours, and heard the entirety of Help, Rubber Soul, and Exile On Main Street. In terms of playing what I like/want to hear, they're batting an impossible 0.979 average. They've officially surpassed the previous mark held by the Greenhouse in Nashville, which played My Morning Jacket's Z and Pearl Jam's Yield back-to-back the first time I was there. Props to Greenhouse for picking slightly more obscure/rewarding albums; points deducted because both have one decidedly "awkward-to-hear-in-a-bar" song ("Into the Woods" and "Push Me/Pull Me").

Novel Cafe, Los Angeles
The whole Larchmont strip gets a nod here, but my single favorite spot in LA is the Novel Cafe. Just a great place to kill five hours--low-key, great menu, good people-watching, excellent service. If you're in no rush, they're in no rush. Very fond memories here from my last trip to LA.

Uncommon Ground, Chicago
UG also doubles as one of Chicago's coolest music venues, and one I hope to revisit soon. It's one of those places that just keeps going--room after room of local art, intimate tables, great service. Last time I was there, I had to park nearly a mile away and fought the Chicago winter winds all the way to the front door, hauling a guitar and box of merchandise. I kid you not: three waitresses immediately grabbed me, seated me by a fire, brought me multiple hot beverages, and offered me (somehow) extra scarves. It's one of the warmest places on earth.

Greyfriar's, Chattanooga
Centrally-located, good coffee, a mixed and decidedly weird crowd, and laissez-faire service. Sometimes, that's all you need in the Noog.

Best Steak
Mastro's, LA. My friend Jay ordered everything like he'd been a million times. I said, "you're not even looking at a menu, you've never been here before...what gives?" He just shook his head and plowed through a seafood tower. Later, in his car, I found a Frommers guide to Los Angeles under the passenger seat. I flipped to Mastro's entry, curious to see what Frommer had to say about the meal I'd just enjoyed. Turns out Frommer recommends literally every item Jay ordered. In other words, he ordered exclusively off the Frommers guide.

Also, the steak's awesome.

Best Mexican
El Palenque, Nashville. I can't vouch for anything on the menu except their chicken mole, because that's all I order, all I will order, and all I ever dream about.

Best BBQ
Central BBQ, Memphis. It really depends on what item you're craving, but if you told me I could only have one type of BBQ in the world right now, I'd get a full rack of wet ribs from Central and not think twice. Ask me again in an hour, though--I'm fickle.

Best Wings
DBo's, Memphis (the original on Kirby). Runner-up: Wing Stop in Ft. Payne, Alabama. Wing Stop is semi-franchised, but the Ft. Payne location is special: their cajun wings are totally different than the ones I've found elsewhere. Also, they're endorsed by Troy Aikman.

Miscelleni
Irish Pubs: I can't narrow this down, but I will say that an Irish pub owned and operated by actual Irish people is automatically 3000% better. In my experience, these are easier to find in NYC, Chicago, and (oddly) small towns in the South.

Happy Hour: Again, this is impossible to pick. Quick tangent: the best places to have a cheap drink with a friend are always--always, always--college towns in cold climates. I don't say this because I'm a college kid, or because I'm spending happy hour with college kids. I say this as an outside observer: there is no place on earth that sells cheaper beverages than a college bar in a quiet and primarily cold locale. Arizona State, Florida, and other warm-weather huge colleges top the "Party School" rankings every year, but from what I've seen, nobody is "partying" harder than a kid at, say, Virginia Tech. Why? Because February's brutal in Blacksburg, and you can buy a cask of moonshine for ten cents and a ball of yarn.

These are the things I feel you need to know.

(What am I missing? What are some of your favorite spots across the country? Hit up the comments and let me know!)

Hi Chris! Which is your absolute favourite movie, ever? --Helena, Sweden
Awesome question, and bonus points for the European spelling of "favorite." I've always preferred that spelling. In honor of Helena, Sweden, and worldly phonics, I'm using alternate spellings for words like "favourite" and "colour" for the duration of this answer.

I'll break this question down into sub-categories, then give a gun-to-my-head answer for all-time favourite.

Category 1: Best Movies I've Ever Seen
These are movies I love, own, watch often, recognize their influence, and admire greatly. For whatever reason, they don't resonate as deeply as another movie of their genre might.

Sometimes there's a gap between the "best" thing and your favourite thing: Michael Jordan was the best basketball player, but Magic Johnson was always my favourite; Sgt. Pepper or Revolver are likely the "better" Beatles records, but my favourite is Help. And so on...

The three best movies I've ever seen, in no particular order:
The Godfather
The Godfather II
Casablanca

These are also on the short list for all-time favourite. For the AFI snobs out there, I've never seen Citizen Kane, and have maybe seen 40 of the "Top 100." I do, however, OWN a copy of Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding.

Favorite Dramas Since 1990:
American Beauty
Tombstone
Quiz Show
Pulp Fiction
Fargo
Good Will Hunting
The Dark Knight
The Departed
The Usual Suspects

Favorite Comedies (or, "Non-Dramas" if that's easier) Since 1990:
High Fidelity
Rushmore
Royal Tenenbaums
Love Actually
Almost Famous
Oceans 11 (remake)
Jerry Maguire
Swingers
***Anchorman (my favorite of the silly comedies like Old School, Superbad, etc.)

Favorite Dramas Pre-1990:
The Godfather
The Godfather II
Casablanca
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Cool Hand Luke

Favorite Comedies (or, "Non-Dramas" if that's easier) Pre-1990:
The Apartment
The Graduate

Now, I'm 99% certain I have some unforgivable omissions. Still, glancing at my library, and off the top of my head, that's the list of semi-finalists. Now, the Finalists!

Finalists
The Graduate
High Fidelity
Royal Tenenbaums
American Beauty
Casablanca
The Apartment

Unsurprisingly, my favourites lean toward the less dramatic movies, and those with (relatively) happy endings. These are also the movies I find myself re-watching the most. I always find a new favourite line, a new favourite moment (now I'm just piling on the "favourites"), or identify with a new character in unexpected ways. They continue to surprise me, amaze me, and deeply resonate, no matter how many times I've seen them.

But there can only winner.

So, my gun-t0-the-head pick for All-Time Favourite is the same after heavy deliberation as it was when I first read the question:

The Pick:
Royal Tenenbaums

Everything--from its conception, writing, acting, directing, and execution--is so effortlessly brilliant that, ten years later, I still can't quite believe how good it is. In its easy perfection I can only compare it to a modern-day Shakespeare comedy. For me, it's operating at that level. Almost every moment is inspired, heartening, and vital. It's been hugely influential in terms of its directorial style and comic voice. It's always engaging, fresh, immediate, and occasionally breath-taking. I've written many times about Royal Tenenbaums, so I'll leave it at this: it's the closest thing to a perfect movie I've ever seen, and no movie resonates more with me personally.

(What's your all-time favourite movie? Or, "favorite," if you prefer.)

Chris, I'm about to flip the script on you! I'm about to give you a dose of your own medicine! You ready??? "You are going out tonight. You are going out to do whatever it is you would like to do for a fun night of festivity and frivolity. This can include anything from vandalizing mailboxes to playing lacrosse to finishing a jigsaw puzzle. You get to assemble your posse for the night. You can pick ANY FOUR MEN OR ANY FOUR WOMEN on the planet, friends, celebrities, athletes, etc. Who is in your entourage and why?" One of your own Fan of the Month questions turned against you! Boom! How does it feel?!? --Jason, Atlanta
I have tasted my own medicine, and it is bitter. Bitter indeed. Well-played, Jason.

In fact, I've gotten a few emails to this affect, asking me the same questions I ask each Fan of the Month. I picked Jason's, however, because it's my personal favorite.

Many Fan of the Month fans have selected friends, spouses, and family members. I understand their reasoning: they're nice people, they appreciate their loved ones, and want to have fun with the people they know best. On paper, this makes sense. On paper, I totally agree.

On paper, though, you wouldn't have the option of hanging out with Pele, or Queen Elizabeth, or Carrot Top. And that's why I'm not picking anyone I know for my posse: I can do that anyway. I can hang out with my family or friends in real life. Why would I do this in a fantasy-world answer?

This is me, taking the people I love the most totally for granted for the purposes of a ridiculous question.

A few ground rules for the selection:
1) I'm not picking any women for the posse. Here's why: if there are three guys and one girl at a table, what happens? Those three guys talk to that one girl. She's the topic of conversation, and she's the center of attention; she is, essentially, the party. This happens every time; it's normal behavior, and is frequently fun. But the goal here is to have the best possible time, right? So why not pick four guys that will attract all kinds of people (women, men, celebrities, athletes, politicians, despots, etc.) to us. It's an issue of keeping the focus outward rather than inward.

2) No other musicians of my general age and type. Again, the goal is to bring people into our party. I want to have limitless options; if I know what I bring to the table, why double up? Also, who likes hanging out with twenty-something musicians? Not me--they're the worst.

3) Again, diversity is key. If you pick three older famous actors, and one of them is George Clooney, you're signing up for trouble. Previously towering egos will be bruised as Clooney out-Clooneys them all night, and you'll end up with a sad posse and drowned sorrows.

4) Chemistry is key. You want different types of guys in the posse, but you also need to keep in mind how they would fictitiously get along. I bet Bill Russell is cool, and I bet Prince Harry is cool, but I doubt they'd have much to say to each other. These things matter.

5) Finally, "crazy" is fine, but "insane" is not. We want to have the best possible time; this means outlandish, unconventional behavior can be appropriate. Crimes against humanity, jail sentences, and life-altering trauma are buzzkills. If you can't bet your own life on this person's behavior, don't pick him. In other words, Lamar Odom is fine; Ron Artest is not.

(Also, can you tell by now that my posse's going to Vegas?)

With that in mind, here's my 4 (in no particular order):
1) Chad OchoCinco. For 8 million reasons, but here are a few:
a) If Twitter is any indication (and he's on it 24/7, so it would have to be), he never stops having fun. Ever.
b) If there was a Nobel prize for "talking trash," he would win it every year, then demand its name be changed to OchoCinco.
c) He brings the sports-world into our party (athlete friends, fans, etc.)
d) He never drinks, so we can travel safely.
e) He's hilarious.

2) John Slattery. Better known as "Roger Sterling" in Mad Men, I'm really basing this pick off the reputations of his characters (middle-aged booze-hounds and womanizers), and his episode commentaries with Jon Hamm, in which they're off-the-cuff, smart, incisively funny, and (possibly) drunk. He's automatically the posse's elder statesman, its unspoken leader, its most experienced member, and maybe its biggest cad. In my mind, he brings "Clooney-things" to the table without any of the Clooney-fuss.

3) Andre 3000. Because he's the coolest human alive today, period. I do worry that he's a bit of an X-factor (he might disappear an hour into the night, only to resurface in Norway), but whatever. He's Andre 3000. If he's in the room, there is no ceiling.

4) Jimmy Kimmel. Hear me out. I rarely watch Kimmel's show, and I can't call myself a Kimmel super-fan. But every great posse needs a mediator: someone who blends personalities, keeps everyone together, keeps conversation flowing, facilitates jokes, is up for anything, never takes things off the table, brings some things to the table, is funny but not showy, is likable but not "the star," and (above all) relishes that role. That, combined with Kimmel's reputation as one of Hollywood's nicest--and, subsequently, most popular and well-connected--stars makes him a natural choice. He is, essentially, the host of the evening.

What we're lacking: muscle. We don't have the obligatory "guy who can take absolutely anyone in a fight in case there's trouble." Hopefully, we don't run into the cast of Jersey Shore.

Almost made the cut: Will Ferrell, Aziz Ansari, Rece Davis, Charles Barkley, Jon Hamm, Bill Simmons, Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt, Paul Rudd, Shaq, Alton from the Real World Las Vegas.

And, finally...

You posted Songs for February last year and said that you were ending with Songs for January this year. I call shenanigans--you can't quit the playlist! Give us at least a few NEW Songs for February this year, please. --Michelle, Austin
Deal.

In lieu of a full-fledged Monthly Playlist, here are ten good songs for February 2010, the darkest, deepest, dreariest 28 days of the year:

Wilco, "Sunken Treasure"
Every moment of this song feels weighed down by some intangible, immovable force. It's not the sound of someone giving up; it's the sound that comes next.

Bruce Springsteen, "Streets of Philadelphia"
Philadelphia connection aside, this is truly one of Bruce's best songs. Of all The Boss's songs that grapple with desperation, loneliness, heartache, and "night-time-wanderings," this one resonates the most with me.

Elliot Smith, "Everything Means Nothing To Me" By itself, one of Smith's prettiest melodies and most honest lyrics. Heard alongside "Everything Reminds Me of Her," it's heart-breaking.

Bob Dylan, "Make You Feel My Love"
The closest Old Bob gets to crooning. Some of Dylan's finest songs come from a place of ill-fated determination. Like in "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window," "Lay, Lady, Lay," "Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance," "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright," and so many others, you can hear a broken heart underneath the bravado.

R.E.M., "Tongue"
One of the weirdest on an album full of bizarre love-songs (Monster), it's also sweet, winning, gorgeous, and a sliver of sunlight in the grayest month.

Josh Ritter, "Best For the Best"
A remarkable, tight little lyric, but most fitting for its calm exterior hiding a well of bitterness. Noticing a trend?

Uncle Tupelo, "Black Eye"
Jeff Tweedy makes his second appearance as Uncle Tupelo's finger-picked ballad just feels like winter. Something about that dark, spare guitar tone feels inherently wintry to me.

Lucero, "Fistful of Tears"
Reverb-soaked keyboards can sound like February, too. Arguably their most bathetic song (and never a favorite of mine), it's still gorgeous, and season-appropriate.

Foo Fighters, "February Stars"
What's more amazing: this song itself, or the fact that I left it off last year's list?

The Killers, "Goodnight, Travel Well"
I remember reading a Radiohead interview where one of the members said he wished they could've re-done "Climbing Up the Walls." He felt, of everything on OK Computer, it was the one moment where they took the song to an extreme; they "over-did it." If "Climbing Up the Walls" overdoes "dark, scary, haunting, atmospheric tidal waves," then "Goodnight, Travel Well" re-defines "it." A powerful, frightening, and desperate monster of a song that you don't want to revisit. Just like February.

And there you have it! At least a Songs for February snack to enjoy. What are your Songs for February?

Until next time, Mailbaggers!

Goodnight, and travel well.
CM

Milam's March Madness Elite 8 (West and International)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness! We're in the Elite 8 right now, so read on to see who's joining Pearl Jam and My Morning Jacket in the Final Four.

If you're just catching up, click the "Milam's March Madness" label to see the results so far.

***NOTE the iMeem player to the right. It features music from the day's bands.

Here...we....GO.

West Region

1) Green Day vs. 2) Foo Fighters
Battle: The tale of tape shows a mirror image:
--Pop-rock bands from the mid 90's who have a stable of hits and are arguably making their best music right now.
--Groups that understand their fanbase and want to rock/please/entertain/join their fans, not alienate them with incontinence or counterproductive experimentation.
--West-coast bands that do sunny-music-with-dark-lyrics as well as anyone.
--Both employ an increasingly rare commodity: humor. And self-awareness.
--Like their records, their live shows are crowd-pleasers, all heart and no schtick.

The list goes on...

It's a tough decision, because Foo Fighters are probably my favorite of the two. For whatever reason (that mystical subjective aspect of music), their songs appeal to me aesthetically more than Green Day's. I'd rather listen to "Everlong" or "I'll Stick Around" or "I'll Be Coming Home Next Year" than "Good Riddance" or "Basket Case." But those personal aesthetics only apply to me, and half the world might rather hear Green Day than the Foo. The list isn't about me, or my history with any one song, or an individual's taste. It's about seeing if we can determine who the better band actually is.

Foo Fighters have lasted this long by being steadfast and solid. They'll never write an epic concept album about sociopolitical life in America's post-modernity (like Green Day), or show up one day without guitars (like Radiohead). No need for reinventing the wheel, thanks. They like it--and use it--just fine.

Better than fine, in fact. But when they're up against a band like Green Day--their counterpart in so many other respects--who happens to have broken their mold and succeeded, they're at a disadvantage. When Green Day released American Idiot, they took another step. They went from "band that everyone knows and likes" to "band that matters." Billy Joe could've written "Minority" and collected checks til the cows came home. He took a risk, aimed higher, and succeeded.

Winner: Green Day

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International Region

1) Radiohead vs. 2) The White Stripes

Battle: The battle of the big Little band and the big Big band, one playing their own game better than anyone, the other changing the game with every release. I picked The Strokes over the Raconteurs last week, making the argument that their narrow scope actually allows them to do more. Nobody does more within a set artistic framework (three instruments and blues-based songwriting) than the White Stripes. While no one record has equalled American Idiot, or Kid A, the four-record stretch from 2002-2008 (White Blood Cells-Icky Thump) is enough to trump anyone. While it's easy to make a case for someone else, it's nearly impossible to make the case against The White Stripes. They're currently bulletproof.

In a different region, the Stripes could get to the Finals. Radiohead's probably their worst-possible draw, because Radiohead matches their pop success, has played their game and won (as a simple four-piece alt-rock band in The Bends), and has done so much more since. If Radiohead was only a band of wild and eccentric experimentation, daring avante gard pop, and artistic Importance, I'd probably give the nod to the Stripes. But Radiohead, depending on the day, is also one of pop's tightest and most focused bands. You want sonically cohesive rock (White Blood Cells)? The Bends. You want a pop-friendly concept album (Elephant)? OK Computer. And that only takes us to 2000, when they collectively decided, "let's redefine pop music." And throughout the breathtaking achievement of Kid A/Amnesiac/Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows are the signs of their overarching talent: great pop, regardless of genre. They are all focused works of cohesive pop art first, acts of defiance and ingenuity second. That is, they might've burned the house down, but if you look close you can still see the foundation. Those records--experiments all--don't exist to spite the no-nonsense rock of the Stripes and others; they succeed because of it.
Winner: Radiohead

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*FINAL FOUR MATCHUP* (ON MONDAY!)
1) Green Day
1) Radiohead

Thoughts:
--Someone more patient than me could make a study of political unrest in the context of pop music, using American Idiot and Hail to the Thief to demonstrate the difference between American protest and British protest. Who wants first crack?

Who goes to the Finals?

• Green Day
• Radiohead

View Results

Who do you like in the Finals? Green Day or Radiohead?
CM

When I Sing Along with Foo (Volume 14)

Whenever the NFL draft comes around, I find myself playing Living Room GM, telling everyone who will listen what the Redskins' problems are, what the solution is, and who they should draft.  "They're weak on the offensive line," I say, "get a solid 10-year starter and call it a day."  It's not the flashy pick, but it's the safe, smart call.  Then, once they're on the clock, I start thinking about some headcase receiver or combine-hero cornerback, some hotshot quarterback project or freakshow athlete.  I suddenly want anything but what I know is a solid, safe choice.  Like so many of us, I'm tempted by the Great Unknown.  

----------------------------------------------------------------------

If Dave Grohl's career had ended in 1994, he still would've been a Hall of Famer.  As Nirvana's third (or, depending on your biographer, fourth) and final drummer, he was responsible for everything post-Bleach.  His perfect timing, hard-hitting, ear for "catchy" drum parts (e.g. the fills in "In Bloom"), and gift for background vocals took the band from indie sensation to pop juggernaut.  In the studio, he was a selfless song-servant and crucial component of the band's chemistry (light-hearted, funny, inexhaustible).  Live, he transformed their sound; suddenly they were big enough to fill an arena.  With Grohl behind them, poppy punk songs became anthems.  You could argue--and Kurt Cobain did--that the addition of Dave Grohl was as crucial to Nirvana's success as anything.  That success sparked a pop cultural revolution, changed the landscape of 90's rock, and the format of one particular rock radio station, 95.7FM The Modern Rock Alternative...also known as 96X.

Of course, Grohl was always a talented songwriter, guitarist, and singer.  He offered song ideas throughout the In Utero sessions that went largely ignored ("Scentless Apprentice" being the lone exception), and his harmonies helped carry Unplugged.  Following Cobain's death, Grohl formed a new band, became its chief guitarist, singer, and songwriter, named it the Foo Fighters, and--fourteen years and tons of great music later--the rest is history.

Although the Foo's first round of singles ("I'll Stick Around," "Big Me," etc.) earned steady rotation on 96X, I didn't become an unrelenting fan-boy until 1997's The Colour and the Shape.  If the first record proved that Grohl was a songwriting talent in his own right, the second proved he was one of our best.  "My Hero" and "Monkey Wrench" formed a graceful transition from post-grunge to power-pop, smart and beautifully-crafted.  But it was "Everlong" that cemented their status as one of Rock's Elite, and gave me a new favorite song.  

(Click here to watch the insane/hilarious/awesome music video of "Everlong."  Audio included.)

By 2000, I was so wrapped up in the Foo that when a classmate asked me if I'd rather have the Foo Fighters or take a chance on what Nirvana could've been, I had honestly forgotten that Nirvana begat Foo.  This isn't to imply that I wasn't a Nirvana fan, because my fandom had long-since spilled over into obsession.  I just forgot that Cobain's death catalyzed a series of events, which led to (then) five years of unadulterated greatness by the Foo Fighters.  And I never really considered what would've happened to any of that if Cobain had lived and Nirvana persisted.

To be clear, my classmate's question isn't "who's the better band?"  While I'm a staunch advocate and lifelong fan of all things Grohl, and firm believer that the Foo remain one of our best groups, they'll never reach Nirvana's status.  As good as the Foo Fighters are, they're not changing the game.  They're just great at it.  Nirvana did change the game, and that's the difference between Great and Legendary.  Nirvana's the better band.  The question is whether you'd give up the entire existence of the Foo Fighters to see what might've been with Nirvana, accepting all achievements or disappointments therein.  It's the Solid Choice vs. the Great Unknown.

A few non-facts, just to clutter up the debate: 

At the time of Cobain's death, rumors persisted about Nirvana's imminent breakup.  Internal conflict had reached a breaking point.  Cobain wanted no more of the limelight.  Substance abuse rendered all future plans impossible.  Novoselic and Grohl were increasingly interested in other projects.  Courtney Love had become Yoko.  Etc.  So, it's possible (if not probable) that Nirvana was finished anyway.  

Of course, rumors also swarmed about their next record.  At one point, R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe even discussed it publicly, revealing that Cobain wanted to take the band further in the direction of the Unplugged material.  The new record would have acoustic guitars and string arrangements.  It would be intimate and ground-breaking.  It would once again reinvent the band, blow away all preconceptions, and further cement their legendary status.  So, it's also possible they could've continued doing what they had done exclusively to that point: make classic, era-defining pop music.  

While smart money's on the breakup, it's impossible to know what would've become of Nirvana.  Buoyed by the popular theory (the thesis of a Klosterman book, no less) that the greatest career move is early death, Nirvana historians claim that Cobain finished on the highest possible note.  Nothing after April 5, 1994 would've been better than what came before it.  We got the best of Nirvana and, to boot, a perennially great band rose from their ashes.  Sure, Nirvana's great unknown is tempting, but would you really sacrifice the entire Foo catalogue to find out?  And, if nothing else, isn't "Everlong"--surely one of the decade's best rock songs--enough to end the debate?

Yes, sure, absolutely.  This is me, in the armchair, general managing, knowing that the Foo Fighters are the wiser choice.  But then I remember 2003's release of the the long-lost Nirvana single ("You Know You're Right") like an NFL scout remembers gaudy combine numbers.  Wasn't that song legitimately, undoubtedly, ruthlessly great, or did I just want it to be***?  Wasn't Cobain ultimately too competitive, too ambitious, and too aware of his own legacy to give up or get lost in experimentation?  And then I remember that 100 great bands still can't replace one legendary band.  I remember that, for all the 96X joy the Foo brought me, 96X wouldn't have existed without Nirvana.  I remember most of all my answer to my classmate in 2000, almost without hesitation, "I'd roll the dice with Nirvana."

But this is 2009, the music industry is impotent and without vision, A&R is a fairytale, popular rock is so undependable even the Counting Crows can't paint by their own numbers, and the Fleet Foxes are on SNL.  So I take the Foo, listen to "Everlong" and forget about Legends.  

We need all the Greats we can get.

Gotta promise not to stop,

CM

***I think it was.  The greatest artists create with such facility, such effortless brilliance, that each next hit (no matter how complex, important, or pressured) sounds easy, even obvious.  It's the ultimate "you're in good hands" listening moment.  The Beatles had it more than anyone.  Jimmy Page had it.  I think Outkast has it.  And Nirvana still had it, long after they finished and everyone assumed they didn't.  "You Know You're Right" kills me to hear now.  Arrrggggg.

P.S. IMPORTANTE!  Please note that the Blog's url has returned to the blogspot format.  If you have it bookmarked, you might need to change the url to the new address.  Thanks!

http://chrismilam.blogspot.com

Top 40 Bands on the Planet, Part II

Yesterday I began my quest to name and rank the Top 40 Bands on the Planet (Earth). Today I pick up where I left off, at Numero Twentioso...

20) Belle and Sebastian
I'm a latecomer to these Scots, but no casual fan--as a group of lyrically-intensive, acoustic-driven melodists, they're about as good as it gets. Only the vocal oddities keep some of the best work from being taken completely seriously, but I'm not sure any song is completely serious ("Piazza, New York catcher are you straight or are you gay?").

19) Queens of the Stone Age
No one with a rudimentary knowledge of rock's past fifteen years will be surprised to read that the Queens were best when Dave Grohl was their drummer (Songs for the Deaf). Thoughtful lyrics, tight songwriting, and excellent musicianship are the strengths of hard rock's hippest band, but what really sets them apart from their semi-metal peers is their strongest muscle: their sense of humor.

18) Son Volt
When Uncle Tupelo broke up and begat two new alt-country uberbands, fans waited anxiously to see which would produce better work. Wilco may lead that race, but Son Volt's not far behind, with Jay Farrar as devoted as ever to topical lyrics and catchy alt-country melodies. Each Son Volt record is equal parts familiar and unpredictable, fresh and unique but still accessible. They might make a stronger point for a higher ranking if their live set wasn't relatively sleepy these days.

17) The Killers
Remember Jet? That whole bit about swinging for the fences? Well, the Killers are power hitters with a better average, and as much as "disco-punk" is, to my ear, an aesthetic oxymoron, it's hard to deny the urgency, energy, and pop-potency of their most noteworthy hits (especially "Somebody Told Me"). Recent rumblings suggest that their sophomore effort might not be worthwhile, but for now, they remain one of rock's most ambitious and powerful hit-makers.

16) Weezer
If this list were made in 1996, Weezer would make a convincing case for Top 3 placement. Ten years later, they're recycling their own perennial break-up rumors, caught in their own bizarre headspace, and drowning in irony. Nobody can deny Rivers' ability to write a relevant, catchy hit, but at what point did we stop trusting that the band is in on the joke?

15) U2
Speaking of bands that don't age well, welcome U2 into the Top 15. Cheers to what you used to be. Cheers to your extracurriculars. But anyone who really believes How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb was the best album of last year is drinking IPod's Kool-Aid. Stop citing Southern music as your chief influence and refusing to tour in the South (where folks can't pay $150 for decent seats). Stop using Mac to push your product. Stop copping Jesus' mannerisms. And stop, stop, stop thinking anything musically related to your band is still relevant.

14) Lucero
Maybe I'm biased. Alright, I'm certainly biased. But, regardless of where any given fan is from, it's hard to deny that these homespun minor legends have vaulted themselves into the Southern rock canon with 4 (going on 5) truly great albums and years of tireless roadwork. And, while most songwriters peak in their mid-to-late twenties, Ben Nichols is only getting better. As their nationwide fanbase increases and the buzz for September's Rogues, Rebels, and Sworn Brothers reaches a fever pitch, Lucero is a band with absolutely no shortage of relevance, and no signs of slowing down.

13) Foo Fighters
By now you've read at least one piece of unabashed flattery for Dave Grohl, one of rock's Most Valuable Players. And, although their most recent double album didn't play exactly as they anticipated, this is a band that will seemingly always deliver--radio hits, sleeper favorites, a tinge of unpredictability, and a top-tier live show. They're the type of band that is nearly impossible to hate.

12) Coldplay
Though I'm not necessarily a fan, they are, undoubtedly, one of rock's biggest bands in terms of popularity and scope. And, although I typically don't indulge in piano-driven atmospherics, nor falsetto-laden whinings, even I can't deny the success of songs like "Fix You" and "Swallowed in the Sea" off their most recent album. Whether you like it or not, Chris Martin and Co. do what they do, and they do it consistently well.

11) Red Hot Chili Peppers
Another aging band whose best days are behind it but whose worse days aren't fast approaching. Although their most recent effort sounds somehow less mature than 2000's Californication, the Chili Peppers are still a band devoted to musical alchemy and live-performance dominance, all in the context of the "Modern Pop Song." Any band that's still relevant fifteen years after its breakthrough is deserving of praise.

Top Ten Tomorrow!
Chris