Milam's March Madness: The Finals!

We've come a long way through this three-week tournament I call Milam's March Madness, a quest to determine the Best Band on the Planet. We've laughed (remember when I included Nickelback?), we've cried (remember when I included Nickelback?), we've debated the merits of the Decemberists, we've compared REM to Duke's basketball team, and we've narrowed 65 bands down to the final two:

Radiohead vs. Pearl Jam.

This is an epic battle of unstoppable forces and natural rivals, a tsunami against a tornado, conservatives against liberals, Paris Hilton against dignity, my willpower against easy jokes, etc. As I write this, I wearing gloves and a mouthpiece, and being sponged off by a 200 year-old trainer named "Gus." Because of my affection for both bands and my classification as "a raving OCD loon," there's only one way I can break this battle down...point by point.

Pearl Jam's released eight records, the most recent in 2006. Radiohead's released seven, the most recent in 2008. Both still tour regularly, both stay active between official releases with side projects and soundtrack work and benefit concerts. Both are socially and politically active. Both use their platform to test new business models in the ever-changing music industry. Both are big bands with short singers. The list goes on.

Let's start with the records themselves, and slug through this, round by round.

Ring the damn bell!

Debut Album: Pearl Jam's Ten vs. Radiohead's Pablo Honey
While Pablo Honey gave Radiohead their breakout hit ("Creep"), it didn't necessarily change the world. In fact, there was little in Pablo Honey, other than the band's musicianship, to point to Radiohead's future evolution. Ten, on the other hand, was the work of a complete band, a fully-formed vision and final product. It produced three of the decade's biggest hits ("Jeremy," "Alive," and "Even Flow") and, along with Nirvana's Nevermind and Soundgarden's Badmotorfinger, reinvented modern rock.
Edge: Pearl Jam

Second Album: Pearl Jam's Vs. vs. Radiohead's The Bends
For everything that Ten was, Vs. was even better, the rare sophomore outing that built on the first album's strengths while widening the band's scope. "Dissident," "Animal," and "Rearviewmirror" were grunge heavyweights in Ten's mold, while "Daughter" and "Indifference" broadened the musical spectrum. The Bends, on the other hand, didn't build on its predecessor so much as tear it down and start from scratch (later, a Radiohead trademark). Somewhat buried beneath the distorted bluster of contemporary grunge, The Bends was both a record of its time and of any time, GenX themes of angst and cynicism matched with classic, consummate songcraft. I liken the Pablo Honey-The Bends jump to that of Robert Johnson: according to legend, Johnson disappeared one day and sold his soul to the devil. When he returned, he was a completely different guitar player. There was no logical explanation for the artistic leap that he made, only the supernatural fact that he had made it.

As exceptional as The Bends is, the highest points of Vs. climb just a little bit higher.

Edge: Pearl Jam, by the smallest of margins.

Third Album: Pearl Jam's Vitalogy vs. Radiohead's OK Computer
To put things into perspective, Vitalogy--at the time of its release--cemented Pearl Jam's status as Best Band on Earth. Nirvana had dissipated (and begun to wind down), Soundgarden was great but not exceptional, and everyone else was pleasantly derivative. Vitalogy is a jaw-dropping record for its power and importance, especially in the colossal wake of Ten and Vs. While it has some willfully weird lows, you could make a case that its highs ("Nothingman," "Corduroy," and "Better Man") are the best work Pearl Jam's ever done. OK Computer, on the other hand, might just be the best record of the 90's. One part past-Radiohead (standard rock arrangements), one part future-Radiohead (sonic experimentation, themes of technology and inhumanity, etc.), it was the best of both their worlds. OK Computer gracefully straddled the line between challenging and off-putting without ever crossing it, never predictable, always exciting, breathtaking in its beauty and composition, inspired, imaginative, and awesome in its achievement.
Edge: Radiohead

Interim: Pearl Jam's No Code
No Code doesn't really have a suitable point of comparison in Radiohead's c.v., and doesn't have a natural ally in the greater Pearl Jam catalog. In many ways, it's the artistic afterthought to Vitalogy, created after they'd exhausted their 90's vision but before the artistic rebirth of Yield. Contrary to Fitzgerald's famous line that "there are no second acts in American lives," Pearl Jam's life does have two acts, the first ending with Vitalogy and the second beginning with Yield. No Code's in no man's land, an occasionally great ("Present Tense," "Hail, Hail"), often interesting ("Sometimes," "Smile"), and always idiosyncratic record that sounds like a band too talented to be bad but too exhausted to be at their best.
Edge: Nobody

Next Two Albums: Yield and Binaural vs. Kid A and Amnesiac
As well-documented as my love for Yield is (I recently called it the most-underrated album of the 90's), and as consistently solid as Binaural is, there's no realistic match in Pearl Jam's rock catalog for the genre-transcending achievements of Kid A and Amnesiac. I don't know that there's a realistic match in anyone's catalog this decade, save Outkast's Speakerboxx/Love Below.
Edge: Radiohead, by a margin (I'm indicating a substantial distance with my boxing gloves)

Next Album: Pearl Jam's Riot Act vs. Radiohead's Hail to the Thief
Maybe the truest measure of a band's greatness is not the quality of their best record, but their worst. By that rule, Pearl Jam is one of our greatest bands. Riot Act is, without question, PJ's weakest record, and is nonetheless impressive and occasionally outstanding ("All or None," "I Am Mine"). Hail to the Thief is a suitable point of comparison, similarly topical and uneven. There's no denying Riot Act's brightest moments, but its lowest moments ("Green Disease," "Cropduster") are worse than those on Hail ("The Gloaming," etc.), because they're failed songs rather than negligible interludes.
Edge: Radiohead

Most Recent Album: Pearl Jam's Pearl Jam vs. Radiohead's In Rainbows
A great matchup of Radiohead's continued weirdness and Pearl Jam's back-to-basics rock. Radiohead's experimentation at its best, I think, trumps Pearl Jam's standardized pop-rock at its best, but (flying in the face of ubernerds everywhere, now...) In Rainbows isn't Radiohead at their best. To be sure, it's far from their worst. Still, I think Pearl Jam is better for what it tries to achieve--a convincing and exuberant return to form--than In Rainbows.
Edge: Pearl Jam

Live Show
First, a few points of reference:

Pearl Jam - "Alive" in 1992
Pearl Jam - "Hail, Hail" in 1996
Pearl Jam - "Given to Fly" in 2000
Pearl Jam - "World Wide Suicide" in 2006
Radiohead - "Creep" in 1994
Radiohead - "Airbag" in 1997
Radiohead - "Idioteque" in 2006
Radiohead - "Pyramid Song" in 2006

I'll make a disclaimer and say that, if you want to fight me on this, fine. They're two of the best live bands on the planet and have been since they started. Both are as sharp and as vibrant as ever. Both are unpredictable, but while Pearl Jam's is due to exuberance, Radiohead's is due to weirdness. That said, a Radiohead show might not be what you bargained for. Pearl Jam excels at understanding the audience's expectations and exceeding them, but never ignoring them.
Edge: Pearl Jam

Influence:
If each band is to be judged by the worst of their derivatives, both would fail this test. The fact is, most bands cited as "influenced" by another typically have nothing in common with that original band. The point of comparison is usually something as superficial--and easy--as a vocal tick, like Creed's throaty howl (derivative of Vedder) or Coldplay's falsetto (derivative of Yorke).

In reality, Pearl Jam and Radiohead's greatest influence has been bringing bright fringe bands closer to the mainstream. My Morning Jacket, for example, has gleaned the best from both bands (Pearl Jam's ear for anthemic pop, Radiohead's gift for fan-friendly innovation). Others as many and varied as Kings of Leon and Sigur Ros have carved out their own corner under the greater prop tent of Pearl Jam and Radiohead. Ultimately, I would guess that Radiohead's most innovative work will continue to influence not only this generation of artists, but innumerable future generations, regardless of genre or direction.
Edge: Radiohead

Intangibles:
Because both bands are politically active and undertake such endeavors with a modicum of taste and discretion, I'll call it a draw. I'm not going to quantify who-raised-how-much-money-for-what and select a "saving the world" winner.

Perhaps more interestingly, both have used their platforms to try new business models in the flagging music industry. In 2000 and 2001, Pearl Jam began selling a high-quality, low-priced bootleg from every live show, setting a new standard for live recording and blazing a trail for accessibility well before YouTube and Myspace. Radiohead broke new ground by asking fans to pay "whatever they want" for In Rainbows. When fans worldwide responded with record-breaking sales, it forced the industry to rethink their current business model and all presumptions about the music-stealing public.

Again, I can't really put a value on that. But Radiohead has been the most awesome most recently:
--Outselling everyone by giving their album away.
--Working Coldplay like a speedbag at the Grammy's.
--For no discernable reason--other than they can and they felt like it--telling Miley Cyrus to get bent.
Edge: Radiohead

Ladies and gentlemen, while Abdul crunches the numbers, I'd like to say that it's been a blast, and thanks for everyone either commenting or writing me to add to the discussion. Remember, this is only a reflection of the Best Band is right now; the list could be totally different this time next year. That said....

The winner of Milam's March Madness 2009 is....

RADIOHEAD!

Congratulations, boys! Tell them what they win, Doug!

--A year's supply of calculators! (One)
--A trip for two to Iceland!
--Oatmeal Cream Pies!
--Three-hundred passive-aggressive congratulatory voicemails from Bono!
--A head of lettuce!
--A copy of Radiohead's latest album, In Rainbows!

And, last but not least, the Milam March Madness 2009 Championship Trophy, which may-or-may-not feature a plastic soccer player atop a base with "Green Machines 1991" engraved on the side! You can't drink out of it, but you sure as heck can drink the glory in!

And I'm spent,
CM

P.S. Songs for April will be up on Friday!

MIlam's March Madness Final 4

And then there were four. The Milam March Madness bracket has yielded a quartet of modern rock elites, our contemporary Pantheon: Green Day sports arguably the single best album of the decade. My Morning Jacket represents the brightest of a new generation, the most-likely heirs to the rockthrone. Pearl Jam claims the longest track record of success, and perhaps the widest influence. And Radiohead, of course, can make a case for all of those and more.

Let's get right down to it:

Green Day vs. Radiohead
If you're looking for the best point of comparison between Green Day and Radiohead, you might start with their most recent (largely political) records, American Idiot and Hail to the Thief. While Green Day fires off explicit statements of protest from the familiar restraints of power-chords and catchy melodies, Radiohead couches fire-and-brimstone in allusion, metaphor, and schizophrenic production. The former is wonderfully concrete, focusing on storytelling and bare-bones, explicit lyricism to make its points. The latter is willfully abstract, implicit in its symbols and song-to-song self-referentiality. American Idiot is the text; Hail to the Thief is the subtext. "American Idiot" vs. "2 + 2 = 5." That's all you need to know.

Both records are successful not only because they say what they want to say, but because they find a way to include the audience in that message. What fans of pop music--regardless of personal politics--would deny themselves the sheer pleasure of "Holiday," or the sweeping beauty of "Sail to the Moon"? What person can hear "Jesus of Suburbia" or "A Punchup at a Wedding" and not connect with it, at least with some measure of awe? The truth is, any band can make a political record. Some bands can even find something interesting to say. But only the best bands can make the world sing along--or want to sing along--to a lyric they don't initially agree with.

Throw into the mix that both bands have been multi-platinum-selling, critically-acclaimed, pop-rock juggernauts since the mid-90's, and you've got an interesting face-off dating back fifteen years. For all the superficial differences between the bands, perhaps the biggest one is the decisive one: Green Day's a great rock band, while Radiohead's a great band. The kudos I gave Foo Fighters for "keeping it simple" apply to Green Day, with the added bonus that they've challenged themselves in terms of scope. They're still essentially a four-chord rock band, but they're unlimited in terms of subject matter.

But Radiohead's not essentially a four-chord rock band. One could argue (though I might disagree) that they aren't essentially a rock band at all. When they took the plunge into sonic alchemy and studio experimentation with Kid A/Amnesiac, they made a calculated risk: redefine contemporary rock, or cast themselves into artistic obscurity, a self-exile of weirdness and, ironically, irrelevance. Nine years later, we know the answer: Kid A was the best record of 2000 (no, seriously, Steely Dan, go to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 Grammy's), transcending genre, subverting contemporary pop formulas, and converting die-hard and casual fans alike. Amnesiac, arguably a better and more cohesive group of songs, continued to drive the nail in the coffin. The two records (really, two halves of one whole) raised modern rock's bar to an impossible height. In truth, it's a bar that (at their best) only Radiohead can meet.

Green Day has done one thing as well as anyone, and have only become more vital, important, and challenging throughout their career. But Radiohead has always done more than one thing; in fact, they've invented new ways to dominate.

Winner: Radiohead

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Pearl Jam vs. My Morning Jacket

Yeesh, this is tough. My case for placing My Morning Jacket over U2 was that, in a pre-Napster era, It Still Moves would've had the same commercial impact as the Joshua Tree, and that Z could've matched Achtung Baby; essentially, My Morning Jacket has every artistic claim to U2's global success...they just came along in a period where that type of success is impossible.

Well, the same argument could hold against Pearl Jam. Is there anything--really, anything in the music itself--that leads you to believe "One Big Holiday" couldn't have been to a classic rock revival what "Alive" was to grunge? Is "Alive" a better song? Eh, probably. Slightly. Maybe. But does that sliver of debatable difference really account for one record selling 10 million, and one lurching towards 100K? Should it? Of course not. Timing matters, especially when it comes to technology. Especially when that technology affects consumption. Especially when "affects consumption" means "makes music free."

That It Still Moves became a gold record at all should be Exhibit A in the case for My Morning Jacket. That a reverb-soaked Southern rock opera with marginal label and radio support, recorded in a barn no less, could sell 100K records is a testament to its status as a contemporary landmark, and a future classic. What's more, it might not even be their best record. The two since, Z and Evil Urges, build on a foundation of epic Americana with pop vibrancy and a seamless integration of influences. That sonic alchemy, in fact, has placed them on the short list of bands willing--and able--to meet Radiohead's standard in terms of creating a new kind of pop music. They're arguably the only band out there who might be able to match Radiohead's gift for inventiveness and accessibility; they can reinvent the wheel while still making it something you want to buy.

Did I mention they're the best live band on earth? I did? Just checking.

I ultimately vaulted MMJ over U2 because I honestly believe the Jacket's a better band right now. They're putting out better records, and they're playing better shows. The issue here is that Pearl Jam isn't U2. Pearl Jam's self-entitled record (their most recent, in 2006) is better than any of U2's, because it actually achieves the kind of back-to-basics "important" rockery U2's alluding to. Also, U2's live shows are spectacles much more than concerts; you'll be entertained, but you won't be moved. But Pearl Jam--one of rock's best live bands from any era--still has their fastball***. If MMJ is #1 live band, Pearl Jam's #1A.

When comparing one generation's giants to the next's, I give the former the benefit of the doubt, because body of work does matter. If Pearl Jam had released Binaural, then Riot Act, then drifted off into the sunset, My Morning Jacket would've taken their crown. The fact that Pearl Jam is still putting out vital records, performing at a remarkable level, and blazing new trails in the record industry matches My Morning Jacket's young and stellar track record. Combine that with All-That-Came-Before, and you have a King who hasn't yet left his throne.

Winner: Pearl Jam

***When I say "fastball," I don't mean, "wow, those aging rockers really go out there and give it their all." I mean, "against all odds and laws of science, they're a better live band than they've ever been." Eddie's voice alone is some kind of 8th wonder, smoking and drinking over a three-hour set, over two legs of a tour, over eighteen years as a band, and actually getting better as time goes on. It's not human. When Secretariat died, they found that his heart was twice the size of a normal horse. In other words, Secretariat had twice the engine of all the other racehorses. He was a once-in-a-generation kind of unreal talent. And what I'm trying to say is this: Eddie Vedder's vocal chords are like Secretariat's heart. He is a freak of nature.

***Also, while I thought Matt Cameron needed a record to adjust as the band's drummer (Binaural) in the studio, he's a huge addition live. As much as anyone, it's Cameron (formerly of Soundgarden) who breathes new life into the old classics, revving up the outtro for "Better Man," or occasionally giving "Even Flow" a jolt of syncopation.

How many of you had a Pearl Jam/Radiohead final?

Do you agree with the picks?

Who's the winner?

Who's the Best Band on the Planet?

• Radiohead
• Pearl Jam
• Someone Else

View Results

Finals Wednesday!
CM

Milam's March Madness Elite 8 (West and International)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness! We're in the Elite 8 right now, so read on to see who's joining Pearl Jam and My Morning Jacket in the Final Four.

If you're just catching up, click the "Milam's March Madness" label to see the results so far.

***NOTE the iMeem player to the right. It features music from the day's bands.

Here...we....GO.

West Region

1) Green Day vs. 2) Foo Fighters
Battle: The tale of tape shows a mirror image:
--Pop-rock bands from the mid 90's who have a stable of hits and are arguably making their best music right now.
--Groups that understand their fanbase and want to rock/please/entertain/join their fans, not alienate them with incontinence or counterproductive experimentation.
--West-coast bands that do sunny-music-with-dark-lyrics as well as anyone.
--Both employ an increasingly rare commodity: humor. And self-awareness.
--Like their records, their live shows are crowd-pleasers, all heart and no schtick.

The list goes on...

It's a tough decision, because Foo Fighters are probably my favorite of the two. For whatever reason (that mystical subjective aspect of music), their songs appeal to me aesthetically more than Green Day's. I'd rather listen to "Everlong" or "I'll Stick Around" or "I'll Be Coming Home Next Year" than "Good Riddance" or "Basket Case." But those personal aesthetics only apply to me, and half the world might rather hear Green Day than the Foo. The list isn't about me, or my history with any one song, or an individual's taste. It's about seeing if we can determine who the better band actually is.

Foo Fighters have lasted this long by being steadfast and solid. They'll never write an epic concept album about sociopolitical life in America's post-modernity (like Green Day), or show up one day without guitars (like Radiohead). No need for reinventing the wheel, thanks. They like it--and use it--just fine.

Better than fine, in fact. But when they're up against a band like Green Day--their counterpart in so many other respects--who happens to have broken their mold and succeeded, they're at a disadvantage. When Green Day released American Idiot, they took another step. They went from "band that everyone knows and likes" to "band that matters." Billy Joe could've written "Minority" and collected checks til the cows came home. He took a risk, aimed higher, and succeeded.

Winner: Green Day

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International Region

1) Radiohead vs. 2) The White Stripes

Battle: The battle of the big Little band and the big Big band, one playing their own game better than anyone, the other changing the game with every release. I picked The Strokes over the Raconteurs last week, making the argument that their narrow scope actually allows them to do more. Nobody does more within a set artistic framework (three instruments and blues-based songwriting) than the White Stripes. While no one record has equalled American Idiot, or Kid A, the four-record stretch from 2002-2008 (White Blood Cells-Icky Thump) is enough to trump anyone. While it's easy to make a case for someone else, it's nearly impossible to make the case against The White Stripes. They're currently bulletproof.

In a different region, the Stripes could get to the Finals. Radiohead's probably their worst-possible draw, because Radiohead matches their pop success, has played their game and won (as a simple four-piece alt-rock band in The Bends), and has done so much more since. If Radiohead was only a band of wild and eccentric experimentation, daring avante gard pop, and artistic Importance, I'd probably give the nod to the Stripes. But Radiohead, depending on the day, is also one of pop's tightest and most focused bands. You want sonically cohesive rock (White Blood Cells)? The Bends. You want a pop-friendly concept album (Elephant)? OK Computer. And that only takes us to 2000, when they collectively decided, "let's redefine pop music." And throughout the breathtaking achievement of Kid A/Amnesiac/Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows are the signs of their overarching talent: great pop, regardless of genre. They are all focused works of cohesive pop art first, acts of defiance and ingenuity second. That is, they might've burned the house down, but if you look close you can still see the foundation. Those records--experiments all--don't exist to spite the no-nonsense rock of the Stripes and others; they succeed because of it.
Winner: Radiohead

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*FINAL FOUR MATCHUP* (ON MONDAY!)
1) Green Day
1) Radiohead

Thoughts:
--Someone more patient than me could make a study of political unrest in the context of pop music, using American Idiot and Hail to the Thief to demonstrate the difference between American protest and British protest. Who wants first crack?

Who goes to the Finals?

• Green Day
• Radiohead

View Results

Who do you like in the Finals? Green Day or Radiohead?
CM

Milam's March Madness Elite 8 (East and South)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness! We're down to the nitty gritty: only eight band remain. Today we'll determine the East and South winners, and tomorrow we'll tackle the West and International regions.

If you're just catching up, click the "Milam's March Madness" label to see the results so far.

Here...we....GO.

East Region

1) U2 vs. 2) My Morning Jacket
Battle: Previewing this matchup last week, I asked whether a band like My Morning Jacket can (or should) compete with a band like U2. If the question is, "who's doing the most," doesn't the bigger band have an insurmountable advantage? If U2's reaching more people (they are), and they're doing credible, serious work themselves, then aren't they "doing more?" I'm inclined to think so. There's no question that U2 affects more people than My Morning Jacket. For all MMJ's popularity (New Years concerts at Madison Square Garden, sold out global tours, etc.) they've never had a Top 40 hit. Radio might be dead, but these things matter. They point to the final level of success, the glass ceiling of ubiquity. People can avoid MMJ now if they want to. Some people--strange as this sounds--still haven't heard any of their songs. But nobody can say that for U2.

If all things were equal, and My Morning Jacket were U2's peers, then this would be the decisive argument. But all things aren't equal, because one band emerged post-piracy, and one emerged 15 years prior. For all the pro's that have come from music on the internet (accessibility, a virtually democratic system of consumption, etc.), there is one major downside: the culture is fragmented. Even the best bands to emerge since The Boom (My Morning Jacket) don't (and probably can't) have the audience of pre-Boom bands. It's possible that My Morning Jacket's relative unpopularity is due only to their timing. It's entirely possible that this band with this body of work would be as big as U2 (down to the Joshua Tree-It Still Moves and Evil Urges-Achtung Baby comparisons, if you want to take it that far), if anyone could be as big as U2. With that timing gap--the one factor that doesn't deal with either bands' work--I can only compare them as bands. I don't think there's any doubt that MMJ is a better band right now, releasing stronger records, and unmatched as performers. U2, ultimately, is U2--nobody can touch that. But some mere mortals can still make better music.

Winner: My Morning Jacket

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South Region

1) Pearl Jam vs. 2) REM

Battle: In preparation for this battle--pitting two of my all-time favorite bands against each other--I faced all the demons of adolescence. I looked for clues in old yearbooks. I burned Lucky jeans from the 5th grade. I called ex-girlfriends:
"Hey __," I'd say, "I have a question for you."
"Really," they'd answer.
"Yeah! Which band would you say meant more to me at the time we dated? Pearl Jam or REM?"
"What?" they'd ask.
"When did we date? What dates specifically did we go out? That might help. I can break this thing down chronologically."
--Click.

As many great bands as there were in the 90's, my Top Tier looked like this (in no order):
Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Radiohead, REM.

If you ask me to compare any of those four to anyone else, I have a starting point. If you ask me to compare them to each other my head caves in and I need a towel. I could go round, and round, and round in circles on this one: Pearl Jam's arguably got the better body of work, but acknowledge REM as their artistic trailblazers. They're playing in a house that REM built. If one band's art produces another's success, isn't the indebted band necessarily weaker? Wouldn't this lead to a Pandora's Box of who-influenced-who-and-by-how-much questions, ultimately tracking back to a guy in Western Europe with a harp and men in the Southern Hemisphere with drums? By this logic, aren't the Ramones better than Nirvana? Because that's an argument I'm not willing to make.

When faced with difficult choices, I usually ask, "which team/band/thing has the single best characteristic?" In other words, if I need to compare two bands and all other things are equal, who has the single best song? This argument is the sole reason Counting Crows even made it past the first round. But Pearl Jam and REM could win this battle against anyone. But how do you weigh "Nothingman" and "Nightswimming" and declare a winner?

You can't. In fact, comparing their 90's selves is fruitless. Since this tournament gives more weight to recent work, I can only judge them since 2000. If Pearl Jam hadn't released Pearl Jam in 2006, that would be yet another mind-numbing dead heat, with PJ probably getting the nod off live performance and business ingenuity (selling high quality bootlegs for every show). As solid as REM's records have been since 2000, their best work is behind them. Pearl Jam's self-entitled record proved doubters wrong: they're still at the top of their game.

Winner: Pearl Jam

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*FINAL FOUR MATCHUP* (ON MONDAY!)
2) My Morning Jacket
1) Pearl Jam

Thoughts:
--Pearl Jam faces off against another touring companion. This might be the Final Four overall, but it's the finals for Best Live Band--these are the best two around, and MMJ learned at the feet of the master.
--The generational issues that defined the Jacket/U2 debate persist here; MMJ probably can't be as big as Pearl Jam. But this battle will be even more interesting, as Pearl Jam's most recent work trumps U2's. What do y'all think?

Who goes to the Finals?

• Pearl Jam
• My Morning Jacket

View Results

Who do you like in the Final Four? Hit up the comments and join the debate!

Elite 8 for the West and International Region tomorrow...
CM

Milam's March Madness Sweet 16 (West and International)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness!

We're in the Sweet 16, but if you're just catching up, click the "Milam's March Madness" label to see the results so far.

Let's pick things up in the...

West Region

1) Green Day vs. 4) Counting Crows
Battle: I'd love to wax nostalgic about everything the Counting Crows have been and everything they used to be. I'd love to remember the good times, the times when they were a pop band of mystical and effortless impact, making something new out of something old. I could talk about their immeasurable gift for finding every song's moment, its truest sound, its distilled power. I could talk about their past catalog filled with songs that are inspired, vital, winning, and incredibly gorgeous. I could do all of this, and make it a fitting eulogy. Green Day put out American Idiot; the Crows put out Saturday Nights, Sunday Mornings. The only way those two could be more disparate in quality and relevance is if SNSM was, in fact, written by a raffle-winning third grader (as I suspect) and only purchasable as an eight-track.
Winner: Green Day

2) Foo Fighters vs. 3) Weezer
Battle: Here's the wisdom of Dave Grohl: simple wins. If you had asked me in 2000 which band had the higher ceiling, and which band would produce the better records in the 00's, I would've cited Weezer's affinity for successful concept-album pop, and their genre-transforming aspirations, and would've guessed Weezer. Since 2000, Weezer has released light, enjoyable records bogged down mostly by their own earnestness and irony, two dozen "Beverly Hills" that are fun and funny but, uh, probably not a joke. In other words, they haven't transformed anything. In truth, they might've regressed. The Foo, on the other hand, has always kept it simple: great, accessible rock. Because Grohl's such a gifted artist, that has varied interestingly album-to-album, a development that has grown with its fans and kept the band honest and relevant. They affect the landscape in ways Weezer hasn't because they're not necessarily trying to; by keeping it simple, they're a much more interesting--and successful--band.
Winner: Foo Fighters

Elite 8 Matchup (ON THURSDAY):
1) Green Day
2) Foo Fighters

Thoughts:
--The second-tier bands from 1995 are the first tier bands in 2009. Were the 90's this great, or are the 2000's this dull? What do y'all think?

Who wins the West?

• Green Day
• Foo Fighters

View Results

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International Region

1) Radiohead vs. 4) The Strokes
Battle: Since their arrival in 2001, the Strokes have always seen themselves as one of rock's best new bands, the heir-apparent to the 90's throne. Their records--solid and occasionally great, if not consistent--are remarkably self-assured. They tour almost exclusively with Pantheon bands, rightly adopting their swagger. But for all their ambition as a musical entity, they're not nearly as ambitious as musicians; each record might sound more mature, but it's not necessarily new. Compared to Radiohead, a new band at every release, the Strokes sound one-dimensional at best and amateur at worst. It's not that they're a bad band--they're very good. They're just not Radiohead.
Winner: Radiohead

2) The White Stripes vs. 6) Franz Ferdinand
Battle: I'd really, really, really love to make this interesting, making the case for Tonight versus Icky Thump, and how Franz Ferdinand's neo-new-wave could be more relevant and (down the road) more influential than blues-derivative rock, but I wouldn't believe any of it. If any of you would like to have this discussion, please. Let's do it. I'll put on a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches and we'll discuss the potential relative merits of Franz Ferdinand versus the White Stripes. But for here and now, and for people with ears to hear and a soul to move, that debate is academic. Franz Ferdinand just isn't there. Yet.
Winner: The White Stripes

Elite 8 Matchup (ON THURSDAY):
1) Radiohead
2) The White Stripes

Thoughts:
--The White Stripes write (mostly) self-contained blues-derivative rock, sharp and focused pop songs, limited in sound but big on ideas. Radiohead writes whatever the hell they want to write, and does it better than practically anyone. What they lack in narrow artistic focus they make up for in era-defining experimentation. Would you say definitively that Pink Floyd was better at their best than, say, The Ramones? Who can do more: the big "small" band or the big "big" band?

Who wins the International?

• Radiohead
• The White Stripes

View Results

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What do you think? Let me know!

Also, I plan on having a polling feature for the Elite 8 and Final 4, so be sure to vote!

tomorrow...
CM

Milam's March Madness Sweet 16 (East and South)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness! Inspired by one of my favorite sporting events, I'm breaking down a 64-band tournament to determine the Greatest Band on Earth!

We're in the Sweet 16, but if you're just catching up, click the "Milam's March Madness" label to see the results so far.

Also, Go Tigers.

East Region

1) U2 vs. 5) Queens of the Stone Age
Battle: Tournaments are a tricky thing. They should be the ultimate indicator of one team/band's domination over the others, but matchups play a huge role. For example, if MGMT hadn't faced My Morning Jacket in Round 2, they might've gone further. I think they're currently better than the Top 32. But they got an unlucky draw and went out earlier than they might've otherwise. Relatedly, Queens of the Stone Age produced one of the decade's best rock albums, Songs for the Deaf, are a top tier live band, seem incapable of mediocrity, and don't stand a chance against U2. Scope is the issue here, and QOTSA's relative weakness. They're not trying to take over the world, and U2 is. Or already has.
Winner: U2

2) My Morning Jacket vs. 3) The Killers
Battle: My favorite matchup on the board: two of the biggest American bands to emerge in the last several years, at a time when great new bands are an endangered species. One is discorock for the eighties nostalgist, synth-heavy and Vegas big; the other is epic Americana for the classic rock revivalist, one part rural atmospherics, one part hypermodern pop. One is proudly synthetic, the other organic. Both are idiosyncratic, ambitious, and best when they think the least. Both are hugely successful--the Killers after a quick label signing and a breakout debut album, the Jacket after years of independent releases and constant touring. The Killers lose the live show matchup, but who wouldn't? My Morning Jacket might be the best live band on the planet. You could make a convincing case that Hot Fuss is the most important record either band has put out, but MMJ's catalog has been consistently better. And there's really no question--among Jacket and Killers fans alike--that MMJ's 2008 release (Evil Urges) trumps the Killers' (Day & Age). I could expound all day on why that is, but the fact remains: MMJ's doing their best work right now, and you can't necessarily say that for the Killers.
Winner: My Morning Jacket

Elite 8 Matchup (ON WEDNESDAY):
1) U2
2) My Morning Jacket

Thoughts:
--Here's the central question, and one that has plagued me: if my rubric is "who's doing the most," how far can a band like My Morning Jacket go? I ask because they occupy the post-Napster bizarro-world of great, hugely successful bands that don't have landmark hits on their resume, but dozens of fan-favorite tunes that get airplay, film and TV placement, and are recognizable to casual listeners. Against a band like U2, do you need Billboard firepower to compete? Even if I think MMJ's a better band, doesn't "doing the most" partly imply reaching the most people? So how can U2 be topped?

Who wins the East?

• U2
• My Morning Jacket

View Results

What do y'all think?

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South Region

1) Pearl Jam vs. 4) Kings of Leon
Battle: If their next six years progress like their last six, Kings of Leon will be hard to beat. Soaking up the influence of travel-mates U2, Pearl Jam, Bob Dylan, they've grown exponentially as artists and performers, and their ceiling is as high as anyone's. Short of Radiohead-inspired-musical-wheel-reinvention, there's nothing that KOL can't currently do, or probably won't develop in the future. If I had to pick a band right now to make "The Leap" (from Top 20 to Top 5), it would be them. What's more, if Pearl Jam had never released Pearl Jam in 2006, or if it had been anything but stellar, KOL might pull this upset. On past work alone, Pearl Jam's nearly untouchable. But it's their most recent record--a breathtaking outing from a band that should've peaked creatively 10 years ago--that'll prove decisive. They (somehow) still win the game of "what have you done for me lately?"
Winner: Pearl Jam

2) REM vs. 3) Black Crowes
Battle: You know who hasn't won the game of "what have you done for me lately"? The Black Crowes. Even if REM's most recent outing (2008's Accelerate, a lively and inspired record) wasn't good, it would've been enough. As much as I like/liked the Crowes, it's this simple: at no point in their career have they been better than REM.
Winner: REM

Elite 8 Matchup (ON WEDNESDAY):
1) Pearl Jam
2) REM

Thoughts:
--Pearl Jam and REM were arguably my favorite bands growing up. I've written before about Ten and Automatic for the People being the first records I owned (co-owned with my brother). If the measure of music is how much it matters to a person, you could make a case that no two bands have mattered more to me. Picking one of these will make me pace around the room, hands on hips, shaking my head, practicing a speech like I'm leaving my wife. Afterward, I'll need a linoleum floor, moonshine, and three to eight weeks. I am in no way ready for this.

Who wins the South?

• Pearl Jam
• REM

View Results

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Who do you like for the Final Four? Hit up the comments and join the debate!

Sweet 16 for the West and International Region tomorrow...
CM

Milam's March Madness, Round 2 (West and International)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness!

We've already cut the field down to 32 in our quest to find the Greatest Band on Earth. To catch up, click on the "Milam's March Madness" label to the right and see the full 64-band field, and the results from the first two rounds.

Let's keep it going with the rest of Round 2!

(***NOTE that the iMeem player to the right has a playlist for the Round 2 matchups. It will be updated daily with all the bands from each region.)

West Region

1) Green Day vs. 9) The Hives
Battle: Tough draw for The Hives. They can out-muscle, out-hustle, and out-pop practically any band on the planet...except Green Day. Here's the breakdown:
Green Day: We can bring three-chords and a cloud of dusk punk to the table.
Hives: So can we.
GD: We can bring irresistible pop hits to the table.
Hives: We can bring one and a half of those.
GD: We can bring a fifteen-year track record of enormous success to the table.
Hives: We don't have that, no.
GD: We can bring the best rock album of the decade to the table.
Hives: Where did you get those shoes???
Winner: Green Day

4) Counting Crows vs. 5) Maroon 5
Battle: Remember when I lambasted the Counting Crows for trying to take their music in a new direction and failing miserably? Remember when I did the same to Coldplay? So, on paper, wouldn't an unabashed Top 40 dance-pop band like Maroon 5 get kudos for playing to their strengths, finding a winning formula, and prolonging their success? Yes, they do. I've never been a Maroon 5 fan, but I've always given them credit. They know who they are, they know what they do well, and they deserve success. And while it would be brutal to watch them pull a Coldplay and, you know, try to be Important, the fact remains that they aren't important. They actively try not to matter. And, once upon a time, the Counting Crows did. And, once upon a time, the Counting Crows were great. They mattered so much, and were so great, in fact, that I'm letting the most recent indiscretion slide. This is me, wagging my finger, giving them a stern warning. Look at me, Adam! You sit in timeout and you think about what you've done.
Winner: Counting Crows

3) Weezer vs. 6) Jet
Battle: The battle here is between the aesthetic fun of both bands and what's really going on beneath the distortion and powerchords and derivitave hooks. While Jet never wanted, purported, or tried to be anything but AC/DC's nephew, Weezer set out to subvert the power-rock genre with equal doses sincerity, humor, and irony. Years ago, they largely reshaped American pop by perfecting this "ironirock" voice. Lately, they've added so many layers of goofiness, irony, and ostensible carelessness that they seem--and sound--suffocated by it. Maybe all that remains are fun pop songs, and maybe that's enough.
Winner: Weezer

2) Foo Fighters vs. 10) Band of Horses
Battle: I wrote recently about how very worthwhile, interesting bands like Band of Horses and Fleet Foxes occupy a niche market. They matter a great deal to a percentage of the population, but don't seek conventional "mainstream" success, Top 40 hits, etc. Well, Foo Fighters do. And, what's worse, they're savvier artists than Band of Horses. And one of the best live bands on the planet. So, if the rubric of this tournament is ultimately, "who's doing the most," it's time to tell Band of Horses about the lovely parting gifts.
Winner: Foo Fighters

Sweet 16 Matchups (ON TUESDAY):
1) Green Day
4) Counting Crows

3) Weezer
2) Foo Fighters

Thoughts:
--There is a chance--an incredibly small chance--that the selection committee will pick Counting Crows for the upset against Green Day. And when I say "selection committee," I mean "me." And when I say "chance," I mean "probably no chance." You never know.
--Let's just call Weezer vs. Foo battle what it really is: the soundtrack to every middle school relationship I ever had. I don't know what's going to happen between these two, but I do know this: I'll end up wearing Adidas and vandalizing somebody's house.

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International Region

1) Radiohead vs. 9) Belle and Sebastian
Battle: In High Fidelity, John Cusack enjoys B&S when he "just wants something he can ignore." And while B&S is best when they're not ignored, the point is that they're easy to ignore. You need to find them, you need to hear them, you need to listen to them, and you probably need to turn the volume down in the rest of your life for them to come through. Radiohead has never been easy to ignore. From "Stop Whispering" to "Paranoid Android" to "Idioteque," they're impossible to ignore.
Winner: Radiohead

4) The Strokes vs. 12) The Raconteurs
Battle: There's no question that The Strokes are the bigger band. They've had more commercial success, they've had more relative hits, they're the bigger draw at Ticketmaster, etc. It's tempting to call The Strokes the bigger band, but the Rac's the better band, but The Raconteurs have always sounded like a side project to me. That's not to say they aren't fantastic, or exciting, but most great bands benefit from the power of artistic focus. Addition by subtraction. For example, Jack White hones down the White Stripes' sound and makes more come out of it. Everything becomes more expressive, more cohesive, and more dynamic because of its initial stylistic "limits." The Raconteurs, song to song, have no limits. Their records sound like a bunch of ideas that Benson and White didn't think "matched" their other projects. This can be great, because they're top-flight songwriters, and they make unpredictable, irrepressible records. But The Strokes are the bigger--and better--band because of what they've chosen not to be. Bigger--and better--bands do more with less.
Winner: The Strokes

3) Coldplay vs. 6) Franz Ferdinand
Battle: If I found anything meaningful in Viva La Ricky Martin, this battle would go to Coldplay easily. Coldplay is arguably the biggest band on the planet--certainly Top 5--so any amount of artistic accomplishment would put them on the fast track to the Final Four. Two problems:
1) Their artistic accomplishments thus far have been incidental, and not recent.
2) Franz Ferdinand's most recent record is stellar. It's been a commercial success, and it's been a critical success. To boot, their last record was a breakout smash, and one of the strongest of its year. If we're looking for bands that "strike the best balance between pop appeal and great artistry," and I don't really believe Coldplay have found greatness as artists yet, how can they be the pick?
Winner: Franz Ferdinand

2) The White Stripes vs. 10) Against Me!
Battle: According to punk purists, Against Me! might just be the best punk band on the planet. They've found a way to give punk a freshly political voice without alienating its audience or its aesthetics. They're admirable, and enjoyable, and it's relieving to know bands like them are still out there. But the White Stripes are on a different level. If you argued that their stretch from White Blood Cells to Icky Thump is as good a four-disc run as any contemporary band has had, I wouldn't fight it. Much.
Winner: The White Stripes

Sweet 16 Matchups (ON TUESDAY):
1) Radiohead
4) The Strokes

6) Franz Ferdinand
2) The White Stripes

Thoughts:
--A few 6-seeds have advanced. Maybe there are more upsets on the horizon? Or...are there?? To Be Continued???
--I would pay $95 to be in the same greenroom as The Strokes and Radiohead. Does Thom Yorke, disgusted by the groupie escapades and beverage spills and "loud noises" actually put up a partition in the middle of the room? Is it made of keyboards duct-taped together? Does it work? And what's on the Radiohead side? Do they request anything for their backstage area? A calculator and some Earl Grey? I'm brimming with questions.
--Franz Ferdinand vs. White Stripes will be an interesting battle for a lot of reasons, but perhaps most to answer the lingering question, "who sings in a less-coherent form of English?"

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Agree? Disagree? Hit up the comments and join the debate!

The Sweet 16 starts on Monday...
CM

Milam's March Madness, Round 2 (East and South)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness!

We've already cut the field down to 32 in our quest to find the Greatest Band on Earth. Round 2 starts here and now...

(***NOTE that the iMeem player to the right has a playlist for the Round 2 matchups. It will be updated daily with all the bands from each region.)

East Region

1) U2 vs. 9) Sigur Ros
Battle: In a hotly-anticipated battle of pop juggernauts vs. critical darlings, many wondered how U2 would respond to the dense and impressive Sigur Ros live show. Some anticipated an uneven set with a large(r than usual) quantity of intersong Bonologues. But U2 is, ultimately, much smarter than that. They came out and let the songs do their heavy lifting as Bono's stage histrionics ratcheted up to "11," a cross between Springsteen, Christ, and a coked-out leprechaun. Of course, even the hooded-kids-in-the-back were won over...because he waded through the crowd and sang 3 inches from their face. For all the wonderful avante garde music that flirts with pop success, there's no substitution for a great pop song by a credible band. Or a twenty years' worth of them.
Winner: U2

5) Queens of the Stone Age vs. 4) Sonic Youth
Battle: If this tournament set out to name the Greatest Live Band on earth, Sonic Youth would be a very tough out. On record, their idiosyncrasy, unpredictability, and risktaking has led to inconsistent (but overall great) work. But live, all of those idiosyncrasies and unpredictability translates into a thrilling live show. The lack of conventional "pop" material matters less, because the band is so thrilling to see. Unfortunately, the Queens are a tough matchup. They're just as heavy, would "rock" just as much live, are every bit as credible, but have replaced sonic experimentation with heavy metal pop. And as much as I admire Sonic Youth, Songs for the Deaf is the best record that either band has put out.
Winner: Queens of the Stone Age

3) The Killers vs. 11) The New Pornographers
Battle: If the New Pornographers weren't so darn good with melody, they might be the Arcade Fire. Which is to say, they'd be less fun to hear, but more critically acclaimed. Instead, they are a smart and endlessly weird (think if Michael Stipe's lyrics were even more whimsical, bizarre, and obtuse) rock band that is impossible not to like. They're also incapable (right now, anyway) of doing bad work. Some songs are better than others, but nothing's a throwaway. The Killers are arguably the biggest band to emerge over the last five years. They are less "artistic" but more ambitious, less smart but more talented. In three (and a half) albums they've had every hit and miss imaginable, with their most recent release being the biggest misfire. Ultimately, The Killers are a bigger and better band because they're bigger and seek to be better. Sometimes they succeed, and sometimes they fail, but the successes rise much, much higher.
Winner: The Killers

2) My Morning Jacket vs. 7) MGMT
Battle: There's a chance--a reasonable one at that--that MGMT could become an elite band. 2008's Oracular Spectacular was a wake-up call, and arguably had the year's definitive hit. They have everyone's attention, finding themselves in a place MMJ occupied not so long ago (after their major-label debut and artistic breakthrough It Still Moves). Of course, MMJ has since become an elite band. Give the kids some time; they're just not there yet.
Winner: My Morning Jacket

Sweet 16 Matchups (ON MONDAY):
1) U2
5) Queens of the Stone Age

3) The Killers
2) My Morning Jacket

Thoughts:
--Prognosticators might project a U2 blowout of Queens next week, but they don't know me well enough. QOTSA's Songs for the Deaf is on the short list of Things I Value to a Disproportionate Level (ice cream, wide receivers from Florida, sundresses, and dogs are also on that list). It'll get interesting.
--More interesting is the MMJ/Killers matchup, which pairs the two biggest/best American rock bands to emerge in the last few years. What's more, the question of "which do you think is better" might be a definitive question among a younger generation of music fans. Practically everyone my age will fall into one of two camps, with their choice saying much about who they are, who they want to be, and how they experience music. Which camp are you in?

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South Region

1) Pearl Jam vs. 8) Lucero
Battle: In a surprise to nobody, Pearl Jam wins this in a walk. If this battle of bands actually happened, Vedder would offer Lucero red wine for the first time in their lives. Crushed by the pressure of the moment, they would each drink a bottle in three minutes and puke for 15 minutes onstage before Ben offers "The War," solo, only to abort it, walk offstage, and offer everyone a hand-written thank-you note later. The thing is, Lucero's a great band. One day, they might even share a stage with Pantheon Bands like Pearl Jam. Maybe open for them. But with the artistic vision Ben has for the band, they need some mainstream success before they can take it to the next level. Sometimes you need to get bigger to get even better.
Winner: Pearl Jam

4) Kings of Leon vs. 5) Wilco
Battle: In a classic case of getting bigger to get better, take Kings of Leon. Their first three years as a band (when they were a promising, and solid, and interesting band but not yet great), they were already opening for U2, Dylan, and Pearl Jam, soaking up influences like a sponge and shaping their own ambition. Putting them in the context of greatness, they suddenly became great. Their most recent record is their best, and their biggest, and their audience has grown exponentially. Of course, Wilco's hugely popular and lousy with arthouse cred. Both bands are successful and relevent. And while it's easy to dismiss KOL as Southern rock's tigerbeat prettyboys and Wilco as its "true artists," it's not accurate. This result might've been different in 2003, but "Use Somebody" alone is as smart, and deliberate, and interesting, and infectious as anything Wilco's done.
Winner: Kings of Leon

3) Red Hot Chili Peppers vs. 6) Black Crowes
Battle: The issue here is that neither band has done any great work recently. Both were giants at their best and still mattered at their worst, but lately both sound like aging bands that are simply past their creative prime, steadily releasing self-parodying singles that old fans will like and new fans won't hear. So, who's been great the most recently? You'd need to go back 5-8 years to the Chili's Californiacation and By the Way to find inspired greatness and a fresh voice from either band.
Winner: Red Hot Chili Peppers

2) REM vs. 7) Black Keys
Battle: There's something about REM that makes everyone else sound...immature. Listen to "Nightswimming," or "Losing My Religion" or "Electrolite" or anything, really, and other contemporary rock quickly sounds like kicks banging on their parents' instruments. Maybe it's just the mature timbre of Stipe's voice, maybe it's their measured songwriting, their unparalleled gift for melodic invention, their ability over three decades to always find something new to say, and an enjoyable way to say it. It's a shame, because they can make even terrific bands like the Black Keys sound like a terminal opening act.
Winner: REM

Sweet 16 Matchups (ON MONDAY):
1) Pearl Jam
4) Kings of Leon

3) Red Hot Chili Peppers
2) REM

Thoughts:
--Once again, the selection committee proves prophetic as all top seeds advance. How are they doing this? I call foul play.
--Pearl Jam reunites with their old opening act, but this time have the students...become the MASTER?!? DUM-DUM-DUM.
--REM vs. RHCP won't just be a battle of convenient acronyms for lazy typers, it'll be a battle of two Hall of Famers. While RHCP win the popularity contest (which I give a great deal of weight to), REM's never far behind, and most would say they've "achieved more" as a band over their careers, and most recently. Who do you like in this one? I'm curious.

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Agree? Disagree? Hit up the comments and join the debate!

Round 2 for the West and International Region tomorrow...
CM

Milam's March Madness, Round 1 (West and International)

Welcome back to Milam's March Madness, where we're smack-dab in the middle of Round 1. If you're just catching on, here's the run-down of the Madness, and the results from the first half of Round 1.

And if you'd like to download a bracket to fill out yourself, just click here and then fill in your own results! Be sure to post them in the comments so we know who you like...

***Note the iMeem Player to the right. Every day it will have a playlist of the bands competing. Today it features all the bands from the West and International regions.

Let's jump right in with the...

West Region

Play-In: Nickelback vs. Explosions in the Sky
Battle: Nickelback does what Nickelback do. Explosions in the Sky then plays a 30-minute instrumental, which prompts the entire room to make out like their ship is going down.
Winner: EITS, and Friday Night Lights fans everywhere.

1) Green Day vs. 16) Explosions in the Sky
Battle: Explosions in the Sky is still playing from their Play-In match. Twenty-three hours later, the crowd's collective makeout session has ended in jealousy and cattiness. The soap opera has turned on them. Green Day wins before they take the stage.
Winner: Green Day

8) Augustana vs. 9) The Hives
Battle: The Hives come out and absolutely melt face. They rock socks. The crowd is enthralled. Then Augustana shifts the momentum, takes them down a notch, hits them with power chord ballads, and cracks them open like walnuts. The crowd is reeling. "I've never felt...so much," one guy says. In a matchup that really could've gone either way, the audience calls The Hives back for an encore, because "they're funny, too."
Winner: The Hives

5) Maroon 5 vs. 12) Fall Out Boy
Battle: In the battle of "bands everyone knows, but nobody admits to liking," the crowd collectively bobs their head to guilty pleasure after guilty pleasure. Guys wink at girls during Maroon 5's set, only to act aloof during FOB's. Ultimately, Fall Out Boy loses after an uneven set. They happily go home and vent on a message board.
Winner: Maroon 5

4) Counting Crows vs. 13) The Thrills
Battle: Propelled by the hometown crowd, the Crows put together an astonishing set, tight and inspired and superior to the Thrills' sunny-but-small performance. The world watches, mouth agape in open wonder, daring to ask if the Counting Crows are sending a message. Might the Crows of New return to the Crows of Old?
Winner: Counting Crows, impressively, amazingly.

6) Jet
11) All-American Rejects
Battle: The Rejects throw together a surprisingly powerful performance, as their songs take on an anthemic quality live. "We've seen these instruments before," says their singer mid-set. Jet answers anthemic-rocker with anthemic-rocker, doing the world's second-best AC/DC imitation (AC/DC comes in first). In a tight matchup, Jet wins over the crowd, for no other reason than "they're happy drunks."
Winner: Jet

3) Weezer vs. 14) Fleet Foxes
Battle: Sincere irony proceeds insincere irony in what can only be described as "the biggest, funnest bunch of pop masturbation in recent memory." The crowd, simultaneously enthralled and confused, comments, "When am I supposed to laugh? What's my line? Help!" Of course, this is the game Weezer came to play, and one they've never lost.
Winner: Weezer

7) Death Cab for Cutie vs. 10) Band of Horses
Battle: Hipsters everywhere rejoice as two heavyweight welterweights take the stage. One lone audience member asks, "aren't all these songs about the same thing?" and is promptly exiled from the venue. On record, Death Cab might've won, but not-liking-your-audience can hurt an occasional live show. Band of Horses, on the other hand, is always happy to be there.
Winner: Band of Horses

2) Foo Fighters vs. 15) The Fray
Battle: The Fray plays. Dave Grohl takes the stage and asks, "what the hell is a fray?"
Winner: Foo Fighters

Round 2 Matchups (ON THURSDAY!):
1) Green Day
9) The Hives

5) Maroon 5
4) Counting Crows

6) Jet
3) Weezer

10) Band of Horses
2) Foo Fighters

Thoughts:
--Green Day vs. The Hives. In other news, Planet Earth has a shortage on black shirts.
--Counting Crows vs. Maroon 5. Two uneven live bands that have the potential to either burn the house down or make us all cry tears of rage. One brings it with pop gloss and production, one with musicianship and intensity. This will either be the greatest show on earth, or the worst, or half of both. This is what I know.
--Is Jet everything Rivers Cuomo secretly wanted to be?
--There's a lot to like about the Foo-Band of Horses matchup, but one thing stands out: the number of times the singer will raise one hand triumphantly to the crowd. I put the over/under at 560 for the night.

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International Region

1) Radiohead vs. 16) Dr. Dog
Battle: Dr. Dog gives the performance of their lifetime, inspired and virtuosic and euphoric, while Radiohead audits a class about modern robotics, unaware that the show is tonight. Yorke randomly stumbles into the venue later and crafts an instrument out of sawdust, copper wire, and ingenuity, whistling while he works, and the crowd erupts.
Winner: Radiohead

8) Vampire Weekend vs. 9) Belle & Sebastian
Battle: In a hotly-anticipated matchup, Vampire Weekend performs admirably, even slinging some verbal assaults at B&S: "We've read Rimbaud, too!" B&S counter assaults with their own deliberate set and off-the-cuff insults: "cheers to the cardigan set..." Ultimately, the crowd determines B&S was more dynamic; they had more ways of making people feel smarter than everyone else.
Winner: Belle & Sebastian

5) Oasis vs. 12) The Raconteurs
Battle: Jack White starts the set by asking, "where's Meg," then launching into "The Hardest Button to Button." The Racs, ever sharp, morph it into "Many Shades of Black," and thus begins a 30-minute Stripes-Racs fusion medley that critics later dub, "one of pop's greatest achievements...a revelation!" Oasis stumbles into a "Wonderwall" into only to have Liam drunkenly refuse to sing it. "I'm available!" comes a call from off-stage, a voice that sounds remarkably like Ryan Adams... Some bands just beat themselves.
Winner: The Raconteurs

4) The Strokes vs. 13) Mars Volta
Battle: Despite a strong performance, the Amsterdam crowd receives Mars Volta's surreal sonic alchemy like a bad trip. It pays to be lucky.
Winner: The Strokes

6) Franz Ferdinand vs. 11) TV on the Radio
Battle: TV on the Radio takes the stage and the crowd goes nuts, rubbing their chins and nodding with approval. "Yes, I see what they're doing there," they say. "Hmm, interesting take," they say, pointing a pinky toward the stage. FF boosts the volume on the kick drum and reintroduces the audience to backbeats, melody, and joy. The audience--like idiots!--follows their tapping feet and votes for Franz Ferdinand.
Winner: Franz Ferdinand

3) Coldplay vs. 14) Kaiser Chiefs
Battle: The Kaiser Chiefs, forced to perform from inside Coldplay's "Giant Grenades and Daffodils" set, give an uneven performance, at one point remarking, "just what is this Martin trying to say, anyway?!" Later, Martin climbs the set and replaces the grenade pin with a daffodil, hoists an unmarked red flag and sings in falsetto, "That's what I'm trying to say! Wooo!!!" The audience harmonizes.
Winner: Coldplay

7) Arcade Fire vs. 10) Against Me!
Battle: The ultimate battle of representing meaning or actually meaning something. Under intense peer pressure to like everything Arcade Fire does, one crowd member (who wished to remain anonymous) remarked, "I don't know, it reminded me of church." When asked if that's a good thing he said, "I go because I feel like I should, not because I want to."
Winner: Against Me!

2) White Stripes vs. 15) Keane
Battle: Keane steals the Grenades and Daffodils set, attempts the pin-replacement move, and tumbles to the wooden stage floor as Meg White rushes out to help. Later, Jack plays the first three notes of "Seven Nation Army" and everyone votes immediately, and twice.
Winner: White Stripes

Round 2 Matchups (ON FRIDAY):
1) Radiohead
9) Belle and Sebastian

12) The Raconteurs
4) The Strokes

6) Franz Ferdinand
3) Coldplay

1o) Against Me!
2) The White Stripes

Thoughts:
--There aren't enough hats in the world to cover the bald heads at the Radiohead-B&S battle. Anyone who's anyone from the "mousy, bookish, British, bespactacled, and balding" set will be there, corduroy blazing.
--Since 2002, many have asked whether The Strokes are better than The White Stripes. I look for Jack to make a statement that the Strokes aren't even better than his other band.
--Ah, very-popular-and-kinda-good vs. kinda-popular-but-very-good. I just tried to predict the Coldplay vs. Ferdinand winner and went crosseyed.
--Jack White wasn't happy about the Against Me! draw. They're like Syracuse...you might beat them, but you still don't want to play them.

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Back tomorrow with Round 2!

Go Tahgers,
CM