Monday, November 01, 2010

Fan of the Month!

Ah, November!  For fall lovers like me, it can be an underrated month.  Most of the football season has passed; most of the leaves have changed; most of the novelty of crisp, autumnal weather has worn off; most of the new music of the season has already come out.  Heck, as great as Thanksgiving is, it doesn't even headline the holiday season.  If you don't catch yourself, you'll underrate November.  And that would be a grave mistake.

November 1 marks the beginning of a new season.  A sub-season.  A section of fall from November 1-January 1 where the most babies are made (it's true, look it up), the most couples get together, the most holiday cheer is spread, the most rom-coms are viewed on oversized couches, and (in short) the whole world becomes Snuggly.

Last November's FOM dubbed this season the "Snuggle Belt."

Obviously, this November's FOM had to typify all the month has to offer.  He had to be the very quintessence of snug.  He (clearly) had to love Tom Selleck.

I'm proud to introduce November's Fan of the Month, Whitney in Fort Payne, AL!

Whitney Chapman (Mr.)


Where y'at?  
Fort Payne, AL.

Something the average interweb browser wouldn't know about me is…?
Back-hair aplenty.  Sorry ladies, I’m taken.

The music scene in Ft. Payne is...?
Estoy rodeado de musica latina.

(Editor's Note: No chance Chris knows what that means--he's still working on English.  Watch him ask "for the readers" now...)

Care to translate for the readers who aren't bilingual?
The Hispanic population in Fort Payne grows daily. As you drive through town just about all you hear is Latin music booming from speakers worth more than the cars they are in.

Whatcha do for a living?
Associate Director at Camp Laney for Boys in Mentone, AL.

When was the last time you ate at Burger King?
Friday, October 22, 2010 8:35AM ($2.16).

Wow!  Tell me you keep a Burger King journal the way some folks keep dream journals.
If you consider greasy receipts between the cushions of my Honda Accord a journal, then yes.

You have one meal left in life but it has to be fast food.  You can pick and choose different items from different joints.  Name that meal! 
McDonald’s Fries, Rob’s Hot Dog Cart – Slaw Dog EXTRA mustard, Diet Dr. Pepper.

(Editor's Note: I love that all of these items have been given the proper level of capitalization/reverence.)

What is Rob's Hot Dog Cart?  Other than my next band name?
It's actually Lil Rob's Hot Dog Cart and it's located across from the Fort Payne Park.  He is usually there from about 10:30-2:00 most days.  Various combos of condiments are available.  He's a super nice guy and I like supporting him.

You have one meal left in life, period.  Name that meal!
Chicago’s Pizzeria Uno Deep Dish w/ spinach, pepperoni, sausage, onion, and extra cheese.

(Editor's Note: I don't know why, but this FOM is making me way hungrier than all the others.  Is Camp Laney secretly a four-star restaurant?)

What music publications/blogs/sites do you read? Any of them good?
Not counting, zero.  Sorry, just being honest.

Pick your dream concert. Any three (living) artists, anywhere, any venue, any month, any time of day. What is it? What's it called?
Dwight Yoakam, Foo Fighters, Journey (with Steve Perry).  Closing night fourth session campfire at Camp Laney.  It would be called LANEYFESTAROO.

(Editor's Note: There's such a thing as Journey WITHOUT Steve Perry???  That's like saying SEC without Alabama, or "bitchin" without Chuck Norris.  You just blew my mind.)

I feel Laneyfestaroo's poster would have to feature a kangaroo.  Ridden by Dwight Yoakam.  With Steve Perry stowed-away in the pouch.  And Dave Grohl hugging a koala.  I guess what I'm asking is, how many kangaroos are at Camp Laney, and how well-trained are they?
There is only one kangaroo at camp, it does as it pleases, and you don't want to know what's in his pouch (I think you know this kangaroo).

You can pick one album as your morning alarm for a year.  The songs and their “wake-up” segments will shuffle randomly, but you are stuck with this album for a full year.  What is it?
Foo Fighters, One By One.

(Editor's Note: This FOM really likes his Foo, which is always a good sign.  Foo fans are like Canadians: unpretentious, affable, and probably on horseback.  Wait...)

If you could fight any public figure, who would it be and why?
Actor Verne Troyer.  I am a tad out of shape, so my first fight needs to be a sure thing.

Fill in the blanks!

Five favorite artists from the 60's are…?
Al Green, Johhny Cash, Mike Nesmith, Jimmy Page, Roger Daltrey.

Five favorite artists from the 90's are…?
Michael Jackson, Dwight Yoakam, Van Hagar, Peter Gabriel, Prince.

Five favorite artists from the 2000's are…?
Coldplay, Foo Fighters.  That’s about it.  Musically speaking, I pretty much live in the past.

Some more singer/songwriters I love are… ?
Hal Ketchum, Billy Joe Shaver.

(Editor's Note: I wish my name was Hal Ketchum.  From birth, that guy was destined to be a grizzled, wisened troubadour and semi-pro bass fisherman.) my favorite Beatle.  
Paul McCartney, only because of the "Ebony and Ivory" duet with Stevie Wonder. my favorite adjective in the English language.

Know any adjectives from other languages?

Peligroso and grande.

(Editor's Note: "dangerous" and "large," respectively.  Thanks, tequila and Starbucks!) my favorite month of the year.

Favorite wrongly-heard song lyric is...? (e.g. "Excuse me while I kiss this guy...")
I’ll never leave your pizza burnin'.

(Editor's Note: The original lyric, from Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden," is "I'll never be your beast of burden."  And now I'm hungry again!)

Favorite rock album of the 2000's?
Foo Fighters One by One.

Favorite non-rock album of the 2000's?
Dwight Yoakam, The Very Best of Dwight Yoakam.

Favorite movie (you can pick separate ones for comedy and drama)?
Comedy: Midnight Run.
Drama: Quiz Show.

I can't believe you picked Quiz Show!  That's always been a favorite of mine and none of my friends have ever even seen it.  They're all, "what's a Rob Morrow/let's make up prop bets for Dancing With the Stars/pass the Easy Cheese, etc."  ANYWAY, here's my question: Quiz Show was well-received at the time (tons of great reviews/award nominations and some wins/decent box office/etc.).  But when people list the best flicks of the 90's, it's usually forgotten.  Why has this movie aged badly in the public consciousness?  In terms of what the movie's about, it's only gotten more relevant over time?  What gives?  
I think if Herb Stempel had killed Charles Van Doren and then morphed into a Camaro driven by Megan Fox as it escaped, it might have had some staying power on DVD and iTunes.  I joke because I can't answer your question.  I don't know why more people are not familiar with it.  Damn shame.

Favorite TV show (you can pick separate ones for comedy and drama)?
Comedy: Arrested Development.
Scifidramady: Firefly.

Rank these items in order of awesomeness: Keith Richards, fall foliage, the state of Hawaii , Wing Stop, the right to bear arms, the right to arm bears, cinnamon.
1) Hawaii
2) Wing Stop
3) Fall foliage
4) The right to bear arms
5) The right to arm bears
6) Cinnamon
7) Keith Richards (sorry K.R. fans)

I ranked all twelve months a while back.  Where would November be in your rankings (1 being best)?

What's #12?

Rad--I think that's the first May-as-#12 I've gotten.  What's lame about May? You really don't like horse racing?
The greatest part of my job is the summer when I see the rewards of the hard work we put in during the offseason. May is the most stressful time of the year because so many details have to be finalized in preparation for the campers arrival. And horse racing sucks.

I did a "Monthly Playlist" throughout 2009, and have taken a brief hiatus.  I need your help.  Give me 5 "Songs for November."
1) Foo Fighters, "All My Life"
2) Johnny Cash, "Boy Named Sue"
3) Billy Joe Shaver, "I Been To Georgia On a Fast Train"
4) Dwight Yoakam, "Ain't That Lonely Yet"
5) Booker T and the MGs, "Hip Hug Her"

Okay, you clearly like your Foo.  I once posed a question to blog-readers about Nirvana and Foo Fighters.  Nirvana was transcendent but hyper ambitious and often frustrating; the Foo gives us the insanely likable pop rock we want from them every 2-3 years.  But there is no Foo (in any way we'd recognize them) without Cobain's death.  If you can go back in time, which do you take: Cobain living with the risk/reward of Nirvana being the Beatles of alt-rock over the next 20 years (or totally fizzling out and depressing teenager in America even more), or the awesomely solid (if predictable) catalog of Foo Fighters that we've loved post-Nirvana?
What is Cobain?  Is that like Advil or something?

(Editor's Note: Slam!  Powerslam!  Def poetry slam!  I've gotta stop typing now.)

You can move anywhere in America for six months.  Money, time, and job situation are no object.  Name the place.
Turtle Bay Resort, Oahu, Hawaii.

You can move anywhere on earth for six months.  Same deal.  Same place, or do you become an expat? 
Turtle Bay Resort, Oahu, Hawaii.

In Hawaii, college football kicks off at like 4AM or something.  How much of a problem would that be for you?
If it's Alabama, no problem.

Any tattoos?  If no, someone is currently forcing you to get a tattoo in a very real and dangerous way.  What do you get?
The Daredevil logo.  Huge fan of the comic book, but not the movie.  Affleck is awful.

You're the casting director: who would've made the ideal Daredevil?
It doesn't matter what the movie is.  If I'm the casting director, the answer is always Tom Selleck.

(Editor's Note: Agreed.  Nothing says "superhero"--or November--like a hearty mustache.)

November's sweeps month on television.  What's on your DVR?  What's reached " Season Pass " status?
These are my shows and my wife Rita’s, and all have season passes (mine are the masculine ones):
Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Smallville, Supernatural, That Metal Show, The Office, Vampire Diaries, Parenthood, Days of our Lives, Mad Men, and Alabama football games.

 My fantasy football team name this year is Spare Me The Stirrups.  What is yours/what would yours be?
If I had one: Bluth Frozen Bananas.

You are going out tonight. You are going out to do whatever it is you would like to do for a fun night of festivity and frivolity. This can include anything from a global Scrabble tournament to eating a tub of nougat to arming bears.  Anything goes.  You get to assemble your posse for the night. You can pick ANY FOUR MEN OR ANY FOUR WOMEN on the planet, friends, celebrities, athletes, etc. Who is in your entourage and why?
OK.  So, I go to Washington DC to an empty White House. Me and my posse check out the whole house, including secret passages and cool gadgets. We then adjourn to the White House screening room and watch “Magnum PI: The Return” (which Hollywood has decided to finally make after reading all my letters saying they should bring back Magnum PI).  My posse consists of Jonathan Hillerman, Larry Manetti, Roger E. Mosely, and Tom Selleck, who happen to be the main cast of Magnum PI and Magnum PI:The Return. We have freshly baked deep dish pizzas beamed to us right from the original Pizzeria Uno Chicago location using the beaming gadget we found in the basement.  We then end the night playing paintball throughout the whole White House versus an unarmed and arthritic Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Keith Olberman, and Auburn.

(Editor's Note: We have to retire this question now.  WOW.)

That was phenomenal.  I can't believe no past FOM has thought of paintball in the White House before.  Well done.  Where will music be in 5 years? What will be the next "big thing"? Where would you like to see it go?
In 5 years music will have left behind the John Mayers, Kanye Wests, and Lady GaGas of the world for the next big thing that will unfortunately be copies of the John Mayers, Kanye Wests, and Lady Gagas from five years ago. I am not sure where I would like music to go. I imagine it has already gone there, I just need to find it.

Finally, how can I ever thank you for the support?
$2.16 to cover my Burger King meal I had on the morning of Friday, Oct. 22, 2010.  It was awful.

Done and done--the check's in the mail. 

(Editor's Note: Wait til Monday to cash it.)

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