Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Fan of the Month!

Here at Milam HQ, things are taking shape. We're finishing up the record, we're booking shows for the fall and winter, we're redesigning the site (launches September 28!), we're picking up dry cleaning, we're edging (yes, edging) the yard. Ah, progress!

But perhaps most exciting of all, we're back to our regularly scheduled blog programming. This means the return of running features such as the Monthly Playlist, Milam's Mailbag, and Fan of the Month!

Let's kick things off with September's Fan of the Month!

This month's winner is Becky in Brooklyn (no, that's not a Dear Abbie alliterative alias. She's Becky in Brooklyn, folks. Deal with it.). Let's learn all about her!

(As always, these are actual Q&A's from a lovely fan from anywhere in the world. If you'd like to be a future Fan of the Month, and feel you can handle the residual fame and wealth that come with it, feel free to email me at with "FOM" in the subject.)


I play 20-34.

(Editor's Note: Huh?)

Where y'at?
South Slope, Brooklyn, New York.

Something the average interweb browser wouldn't know about me is…?
I think pretty much everything about me is accessible via the internets. Um, my passion for the perfect honey mustard sauce is not as internationally known though, as say, my penchant for one-armed, above-the-head-drunken-Facebook-photos.

The music scene in Brooklyn is…?
I am really ashamed that I don't know more about the scene in Brooklyn. I can tell you that there are loads of flannel clad hipsters that fancy themselves the next Johnny Cash. Also loads of jug bands.

Whatcha do for a living?
Grad student at NYU for News and Documentary. I also write sketch comedy and stuff.

(Editor's Note: Now the "I play 20-34" answer makes sense. As in, she's of the age that, as an actor, she can play 20-34. Either that or she's saying she's mature enough to literally play with people ages 20-34. Aren't we all?)

When was the last time you ate at Burger King?
July. It was at a rest stop in New Jersey on the way to Atlantic City. I had a Whopper Jr. and small fries. The service was terrible.

You have one meal left. It has to be fast food, but it doesn't all have to come from the same place. In other words, you can get a Big Mac, a Frostee, Chik-Fil-A fries, etc. What's your order?
Chik-Fil-A chicken sandwich, Arby's curly fries with honey mustard sauce, and a Sonic shake.

What music publications/blogs/sites do you read? Any of them good?
Does New York Magazine count? Does that make me a pretentious New Yorker that that is basically all I read? I read the Milam Blog. I especially like the playlists. What do you suggest I read? I'm feeling judged now.

(Editor's Note: I suggest you read whatever it is you want to read, Becky in Brooklyn. And also The Bible, and report back to me.)

Do you wear crazy hats?
Yes, that is why winter is a great season. It's the perfect excuse to wear them. Summer tries to be a crazy hat season, but it's too darn hot.

What was the exact date you became a Chris Milam fan?
Sometime in 6th grade.

Isn't he full of it?
Most assuredly.

Right now there are only Milam CDs, shirts, and stickers. What obscure item of Milam merchandise would you like to see sold (e.g., Milam dog sweaters, Milam grill covers, etc.)?
A salute to my roots, I would love to see a Milam yarmulke.

Pick your dream concert. Any three (living) artists, anywhere, any venue, any month/time of day. What is it? What's it called? Milamapalooza?
Kings of Leon and Pearl Jam, with Lucero as the opener. Its a late night in October and at some dive bar in Memphis. There is plenty of whiskey and beer. At some point all three bands play a heart-breaking rendition of "Nothingman." It's called "The Sad Bastard Whiskey Reunion Tour".

I want to say that I would love to add Green Day but that show on that night, its not a night for Green Day. Its a whiskey-soaked night of revelry. Green Day I would want with Better Than Ezra and Ryan Adams. A bigger venue, like the Bowery Ballroom, intimate, but not too.

You can move to any American city for 2 months. They can be any two months, as long as they're consecutive. Money is no object, and there is no job. You're just picking a place and a time to live there. Whatcha got?
Its a toss up. Either:
1) Chicago for June and July OR
2) San Francisco for August and September.
But always, always, New York City in the fall. After all, we invented that season!

(Editor's Note: I tried to check this fact and my head exploded.)

If you could fight any public figure, who would it be and why?
Elizabeth Banks. I cannot figure out how she gets so much work. She's entirely talent free and bland. All she does is that crazy laugh. Eff her, man. Seriously. I would like to talk to her agent, that person is a genius.

Elizabeth Banks: approachable. She seems like she's nerd-friendly, which is something a lot of actresses are coached on but can't naturally pull off. They've been too good-looking for too-long to have decent interactions with the mass quantities of average or nerdy guys; it's rare an actress really seems approachable and nerd-friendly. Whether she is or not, who knows? But I think that's the appeal. Is there an actor equivalent for you? Some celebrity whose appeal is magnified because he seems approachable?
Hands down: John Krasinski. I think it's because of the character Jim, who is so normal and dating, on the show, a very, very normal girl, that he seems like such a nerd-friendly guy. Also, obviously, Seth Rogan is another one. Which is probably why Banks is put with him a lot.
God, I want to punch her in the ovaries.

You get to bring one weapon to your fight with Elizabeth Banks. What is it?
A copy of the Scrubs season that she ruined by being J.D.'s baby momma.

Scrubs. Name your single favorite character from that show.
Dr. Cox consistently makes me laugh. But could we also say that Bromance is a character? Because Bromance is featured heavily on that show.

(Editor's Note: Some would say "Bromance" is the plot, theme, main character, motif, metaphor, overarching social statement, and general agenda of the show. Sure, it counts.)

How big of a Zac Braff fan are you? And are you more or less of one now than, say, four years ago? And why?
I wrote a show where I describe my perfect man as Zach Braff....that was 4 years ago. Now he just seems played out and rumor has it, not as nice as he appears on TV. But I'll never turn my back on Garden State no matter what you say, Chris Milam.

Rank these things in order of awesomeness: Paul Newman, Brooklyn, Sheridan's Frozen Custard, The Month of October, Green Day, Any Dog Named "Duke."
1) The Month of October
2) Green Day
3) Sheridan's Frozen Custard
4) Any Dog Named "Duke"
5) Brooklyn
6) Paul Newman

To be honest, I love everything on this list. There is nothing I wouldn't love to spend the day with. Yes, I would spend a day with the month of October, if that was physically possible.

(Editor's Note: Still, rough stuff for Paul Newman. Trounced by a theoretical dog.)

Fill in the blanks!

Five favorite artists from the 60's are…?
The Beatles, The Who, The Stones, Bob Dylan, and Elvis.

Five favorite artists from the 90's are…?
Better Than Ezra, Counting Crows, Gin Blossoms, matchbox20, and Green Day.

Is it actually "matchbox20"? Is that the proper spelling/typing/capitalization of it? I had no idea.
Yes, it is. If you published it any other way, they would sue. For reals. It is in the book Rock On: An Office Power Ballad.

Five favorite artists from the 2000's are…?
Kings of Leon, Ryan Adams (during and post Whiskeytown), The White Stripes, Cory Branan, and The Raconteurs.

Some other singer/songwriters I love are… ?
Lucero, Mika, Paul Simon, Fountains of Wayne!

(Editor's Note: What's a Mika?) my favorite Beatle.
Ringo. Yes, that's right. Ringo.

Favorite wrongly-heard song lyric is...? (e.g. "Excuse me while I kiss this guy...")
"Y'all gon' make me lose my mind/pumpin' gas, pumpin' gas."

You are going out tonight. You are going out to do whatever it is you would like to do for a fun night of festivity and frivolity. This can include anything from vandalizing mailboxes to raving to cooking risotto. Actually, it doesn't include cooking risotto. Anyway, you get to assemble your posse for the night. You can pick ANY FOUR MEN OR ANY FOUR WOMEN on the planet, friends, celebrities, athletes, etc. Who is in your entourage and why?
1) Ben Nichols. Ya know that whiskey soaked revelry I spoke of earlier? This guy brings it in spades.

2) Meg White. Will there be a jam session? Will it just be a night of sexy rhythm making? Only Meg knows...and she's not saying a word.

3) Cory Branan. I think the heady combo of Memphis musicians, a hot lady drummer and an awkward teen would be a night to remember. They all play instruments so hopefully they will come up with an impromtu song about how awesome I am....

4) Micheal Cera. This night is gonna be awkward, so let's just up the ante and add a guy whose job it is to be awkward

You keep putting Ben Nichols in crazy situations. More awkward: Ben Nichols boozily singing "Nothingman" and slurrying the "burn, burn, buuuuuurns" before failing to hit the high notes, or Ben Nichols boozily coaching Michael Cera on how to pick up Meg White?
Nichols effing up "Nothingman" would not be awkward, just par for the course....I'd go with him trying to coach Micheal Cera, which I would pay a thousand Chic-Fil-A chicken sandwiches to see.

Where will music be in 5 years? What will be the next "big thing"? Where would you like to see it go?
I cannot even pretend to be educated enough to answer this questions. I'd love to see lots more rock and roll. A rebirth of alt-country would be nice, too. But in reality, I think that music might be more electric, which would please the likes of The Edge, but not me.

Finally, how can I ever thank you for the support?
Do a hidden track on your next album with singing backup vocals to "The Apartment Song" ala Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks.

Already done.

Pumpin gas,

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