Introducing...the New Milam Merch Line!

In response to our popular Fan of the Month question, "what type of Milam merchandise would you like to see," one reader Made It Happen.

Introducing...the new Milam Merch Line!

Here you see the brand new Milam Apron. One size fits most. Perfect for wearing around the house, or to a concert, or for catching debris whilst you're baking me cookies. The good kind. With the peanut butter in them. And the nougat swirl and the chuckles and the chips. You know which ones.


Are you a self-made woman on the go? A lady about town? A hustling and bustling suburban mom with just not enough hours in the day? Sure, you can take your coffee with you, but if you need even more stimulant, here's the Milam Thermos.

Also fits: chowders and bisques and teas and most soups.


Skate or Die, dude! Cowabunga! Come on in, the powder's fresh! I'll be honest: I don't know what this is. Could be a skateboard or a nuclear warhead, I'm not sure, I'm no scientist. What I do know is that you've gotta have it at the basement-low price of $59.99!


What's that you say? Your lapdog isn't embarrassing enough? How's about slapping a hot-pink Milam Doggie Sweater on the pooch? She'll be strutting her stuff around town with a carefree canine attitude that says, "I'm here, world, and I'm peeing on your mailbox!"


And finally, your very own Big Fancy Milam Mug, featuring (you guessed it) Milam's mug! The motto says it all: "How Bout a Brewsky for Yousky?" Go ahead and knock one down: this Milam's for you.

Special thanks to SMartsonian for creating our new product line. Stay up for more, soon!

Derelicte,
CM